Took the family to the beach in SC (I love Georgetown, SC). They are 10 and 11 and I figured it was time to warn them about the dreaded Carolina shark. We're neck deep in the water and I tell them they need to learn how to defend themselves from the dreaded Carolina shark. I explained that they are slow but vicious and roll over and show their white bellies before they attack. Why their sainted mother had been attacked by one once and only her quick hands and stout heart had saved her. I told them if you punched it hard enough in the belly it'd go away.

OK, they were bug-eyed wondering about this mysterious beast.

I told them to stay still and I'd swim by and roll over so they'd be able to recognize an attack.

Of course, what I did was to go underwater, take off my shorts, point my butt up to the surface and floated up. Mooned the hell out of them.

Upon reappearing at the surface the little one was yelling "My eyes! My eyes!". The big one just had a blank stare and then said "I wish you hadn't done that".

I laughed until almost got sick. Needless to say, the Carolina shark appeared in several shapes and sizes the remainder of the week.

They did learn a valuable lesson: anytime a grown man starts telling you a story about a big fish, run away.