You guy's are sucking the fun right out of this place. You should probably be the daily funnies moderators.Originally Posted by Flabasspond
If you got a few minutes could you go through and correct some things ?
I read a joke there one time about a talking rooster.
I was gonna say something but I let it slide.
" Talking to you is like clapping with one hand "
Anthrax
This one????
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbor asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbor decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ............
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"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so. “ – Mark Twain
Or........maybe this one -
A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmer’s hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer is not just impressed anymore, he is worried. Next morning, not only is the rooster screwing the hens, but he is screwing the turkeys, ducks, and even the cow. Later, the farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead, and vultures circling overhead. The farmer runs out, looks down at the young rooster’s limp body and says: "You deserved it, you horny bastard!" And the young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says, “Shhhh!, they are about to land."
“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so. “ – Mark Twain
Or........maybe this one -
A farmer goes out and buys a new, young rooster. As soon as he brings him home, the young rooster rushes and screws all 150 of the farmer’s hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunchtime, the young rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer is not just impressed anymore, he is worried. Next morning, not only is the rooster screwing the hens, but he is screwing the turkeys, ducks, and even the cow. Later, the farmer looks out into the barnyard and finds the rooster stretched out, limp as a rag, his eyes closed, dead, and vultures circling overhead. The farmer runs out, looks down at the young rooster’s limp body and says: "You deserved it, you horny bastard!" And the young rooster opens one eye, points up at the vultures with his wing, and says, “Shhhh!, they are about to land."
It was this one. Right away I was like. Yeah right, Roosters can't talk.
" Talking to you is like clapping with one hand "
Anthrax
See...... This place used to be fun.
" Talking to you is like clapping with one hand "
Anthrax
Very true.!!
What's weird about the rooster is that I used to own a talking dog.
I had to get rid of him though. I put an ad in paper. Talking dog for sale. Right away someone stopped by.
I'm here about the talking dog. I'm like, he's in the back yard. The guy goes back there and asks the dog, so what's your story ?
Right away the dog starts going on and on. I speak 5 different languages, I've traveled the world and now spend most of my time teaching English at the local high-school. Bla bla bla.
Right away the guy looks at me and says. How much for the dog ? I tell him 10 bucks. 10 bucks he says!!!
For a talking dog ?? Why so low ?
I'm like, he's full of shit. He's never been out of the yard.
" Talking to you is like clapping with one hand "
Anthrax
It wouldn’t matter, pathetic people say pathetic things.
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