Thread: Dad Jokes

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  1. #1
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    Dad Jokes

    I'll go ahead and apologize now...........

    When you're in Hawaii can you laugh really loud? Or do they require Aloha?

    I went to a zoo today - they only had one animal, a dog! It was a Shih Tzu.

    A friend of mine got kidnapped by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to him.

    Male bees die after mating. So their whole life is basically Honey Nut Cheerio.

    A friend asked me what the 9th letter of the alphabet was. Took a wild guess, but I was right.

    Did you know when you sneeze and fart at the same time your body takes a screen shot.

    My wife's mad at me cause I never buy her flowers. Hell I didn't know she was selling flowers.

    I'll stop now, gotta lace up my white NB's and find my phone belt clip.
    2009 G3 Eagle 180 / 2009 Yamaha F115 / Minn Kota Maxxum 80 / Helix 7 Chirp SI GPS G2N on Bow & Console

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    #2

  3. Member
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    #3
    What do you call a pastor in Germany? A German shepherd

    I only believe 12.5% of the Bible, I guess this makes me an eighth-theist.

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    #4

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    #5

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    #6

  7. Member
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    #7
    These are the absolute best Dad jokes ever collaged!

  8. Member catjuggin's Avatar
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    #8
    Funny stuff
    You can lead a horticulture,
    but you can't make her think.

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    #9
    When making soup, why should you only use 239
    beans? Because 1 more would make it too farty.

  10. Member
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    #10
    I asked my wife when her birthday was - she said March 1st. So I walked briskly around the room and asked again.

    My wife said I had no sense of direction. Made me so mad I packed up my stuff and right!

    I'm reading a horror book in braile. Something bad is going to happen, I can just feel it.

    I lost my wife's audio book. Now I'll never hear the end of it.

    I decided to stop wearing my glasses - I've seen enough.

    In the hospital after my accident and the nurse comes in. Says "you may not feel anything below the waist." I said "so just the breasts then?"
    2009 G3 Eagle 180 / 2009 Yamaha F115 / Minn Kota Maxxum 80 / Helix 7 Chirp SI GPS G2N on Bow & Console

  11. NOT a Pro Angler sdbrison's Avatar
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    #11
    "If People Concentrated on the Really Important Things in Life, There'd be a Shortage of Fishing Poles." - Doug Larson
    "Peace is not the absence of turmoil but the presence of God" Jo-Ann Thomack

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    #12