Thread: Adult Kids

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  1. #1
    Member jbassman87's Avatar
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    Adult Kids

    Those of you that have adult kids, 25 years old and older, do you make them pay rent and share bills?

    There was a news story about a mother wanting her 25 YO daughter to start paying rent and utilities and the daughter was saying it was unfair.

    My thought was, why do you want to live at home when you are 25 YEARS OLD!!!! Crap, I wanted out of the house the second I turned 18.

  2. Member berudd's Avatar
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    #2
    Quote Originally Posted by jbassman87 View Post
    Those of you that have adult kids, 25 years old and older, do you make them pay rent and share bills?

    There was a news story about a mother wanting her 25 YO daughter to start paying rent and utilities and the daughter was saying it was unfair.

    My thought was, why do you want to live at home when you are 25 YEARS OLD!!!! Crap, I wanted out of the house the second I turned 18.
    Seems to be more and more of these "kids" staying at home. I guess its easy enough to let mom and dad continue to take care of everything. I had, and still have, a great relationship with my parents but absolutely could not wait to get off to college and then out on my own.
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  3. Member RANGER487's Avatar
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    #3
    Things are a bit different now then back in the day for sure. I know a few people that have kids in there low 20's still living at home. Many are still doing trade school and college stuff though so there not just being lazy. At that age though I see nothing wrong with the kids helping out.

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    #4
    It's hard to explain to people how out of touch older generations are with the financial reality of today. A lot of 25 year olds cannot afford to live on their own. This is just the reality. It's not that they aren't trying hard enough or don't want to, they literally can't. I know all of you feel the pressure of increased prices on everything. Now think back to when you were that age, USE THE SAME WAGES because they are similar now to what they were then, and think about if you could survive without help. Rents are astronomical, food, energy, everything. There's a real reckoning coming because of the cost of living crisis this country is going through. Wages have been relatively stagnant for 40 years while inflation over that timeframe is 228%.

  5. Member Quillback's Avatar
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    #5
    Need pics of said 25 yo before making judgement.

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    #6
    When rent was 3 or 4 hundred a month it was a lot easier to live on your own. Hard to find a place now less than 1500, crazy how high rent prices are currently. When you only make $10 an hour no way can you afford your own place with today's rental rates. However, it is more than fair to charge your adult kids rent. I was allowed to stay at with my parents when I was in college after high school for minimal rent. But I also did the yard work, shoveled snow, etc... to pitch in. My parents actually banked the rent I paid and when I was getting ready to move out gave it back to me to help with first/last month rent and security deposit.

  7. Member Okie Poke's Avatar
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    #7
    My daughter is 27 and teaches school in OK, and pretty much barely makes chump change. It’s ridiculous! Yes, we still supplement her when needed and it’s on a frequent basis. My son is 24 and graduated college last year. Got a great entry level job with great pay $60K but after 5 months of employment, he decided to quit. He was a college athlete and had to change his major from optometry to environmental, health, and safety field. He hated everyone hiding, lying, saying his dept wasn’t necessary blah blah blah…..so, after much deliberation, he convinced his mother and I that he was quitting and plan to pursue a real passion he has always had, flight school. He started on Dec 5th with ATP Flight School. Yes, we are funding this, too. Gonna be 8mo of school and $90K later. We have no doubt that he will make it. Once your kids are outta the house, they are still your kids. Any parent that has the means to help provide more success in life for their children, that’s just what they do. At least, that is our thinking.
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  8. Member Bsktball55's Avatar
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    #8
    It's drastically different from 15-16 years ago when my wife and I got started on our own. Heck it's drastically different than it was 2 years ago. I heard the other day that because of interest rates going up, the monthly monthly mortgage payment has gone up 80% over the past year. So if you bought a starter home 2 years ago, your monthly payment would have been $1000, today that exact same house would cost you $1800 a month. For someone just starting off, that is tough. Renting an apartment isn't much better. They are building some new apartments near us, for a one bedroom apartment with 950 sq ft, they are wanting almost $1400 a month. I'm a teacher and started teaching 18 years ago, my starting salary was $33,000 a year, a starting teacher at our school today is making about $37,000. So in 18 years our salary has increased by 12% while mortgage payments have increased 80% in a year. I understand why people can't afford to move out right now.
    As far a charging your kid rent, it depends on your situation, my parents were financially sound and allowed me to save up money to put down towards our house. Other parents aren't so well off and are struggling themselves to pay bills so if you have a full time job and living at home I can see the need to help contribute to household finances.

  9. Problem Child Ckfishin's Avatar
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    #9
    I think its awesome how much the guys here can complain about inflation on eggs and stuff but not realize the house they bought for 47k in 1980 is now a 166k house.

    So, think about that in terms of salaries. avg salary in 1980 was 19,170 that is about 33% of the average home value.

    In 2022 the avg home cost is 428k the average salary is 53k that would be 13%.....
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by trifish View Post
    It's hard to explain to people how out of touch older generations are with the financial reality of today. A lot of 25 year olds cannot afford to live on their own. This is just the reality. It's not that they aren't trying hard enough or don't want to, they literally can't. I know all of you feel the pressure of increased prices on everything. Now think back to when you were that age, USE THE SAME WAGES because they are similar now to what they were then, and think about if you could survive without help. Rents are astronomical, food, energy, everything. There's a real reckoning coming because of the cost of living crisis this country is going through. Wages have been relatively stagnant for 40 years while inflation over that timeframe is 228%.
    In 1976 minimum wage was 2.10 an hour. Today, it’s 7.15 and inflation says that 2.10 should be 10.80. To be fair only the food industry pays less than 10.00 an hour around here. Working for tips is still a choice. MacDonalds, Bucees, and every factory in town pay between 15 and 20.00 an hour.

    Stop listening to CNN and think about what you are passing along. We had TERRIBLE inflation for about ten years in the 70’s and 80’s. The difference now is all the bills that did not exist in the 70’s, like cell phones, student loans, cable TV, and all kinds of other stuff like clothing. My mom made my clothing on a sewing machine. There were five kids in what we thought was a HUGE 1800 square feet. My son says their 3500 square feet is not big enough for two kids. My first house was a GREAT 10% interest rate. It was 1200 square feet and cost 70,000 in 1986.



    Do you want to discuss all the jobs available today that were nothing but a pipe dream in the 70’s?

    https://www.usinflationcalculator.com/

    When I graduated high school in the late 70’s my parents charged me 300.00 a month rent because I decided to stay home and work while going to school for electronics (a fairly new field in the 70’s) instead of attending UT Knoxville. After two years of busting my ass I joined the military and the rest is history. My kid left when he was 18, moved back in rent free when he was 21, and finally graduated college in his mid 20’s. I did not charge him rent. I thought it was wrong when I was a kid.
    Last edited by n2ratfishin; 02-01-2023 at 08:27 AM.

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    #11
    Quote Originally Posted by n2ratfishin View Post
    In 1976 minimum wage was 2.10 an hour. Today, it’s 7.15 and inflation says that 2.10 should be 10.80. To be fair only the food industry pays less than 10.00 an hour around here. Working for tips is still a choice. MacDonalds, Bucees, and every factory in town pay between 15 and 20.00 an hour.

    Stop listening to CNN and think about what you are passing along. We had TERRIBLE inflation for about ten years in the 70’s and 80’s. The difference now is all the bills that did not exist in the 70’s, like cell phones, student loans, cable TV, and all kinds of other stuff like clothing. My mom made my clothing on a sewing machine. There were five kids in what we thought was a HUGE 1800 square feet. My son says their 3500 square feet is not big enough for two kids. My first house was a GREAT 10% interest rate. It was 1200 square feet and cost 70,000 in 1986.



    Do you want to discuss all the jobs available today that were nothing but a pipe dream in the 70’s?

    https://www.usinflationcalculator.com/
    I love that you just assume I'm regurgitating something from CNN and not just relaying personal experience from myself that happens to be in this age group, lives in a 2000 sf home, and has a child that I'm raising the best I can with the money I have available to me. Some of the bills you mention that are a part of life now....yeah, they're a part of life now you don't just get to leave that out. Life is more expensive now than it was and wages have not kept up with that. If you suggest everyone should just not have a phone or should not have tv or clothes? I mean that one's weird.

    You know just as well as I do that the inflation rate listed is far higher than advertised because things like energy and food are astronomically higher now than they were then. By the way I was born in 1986 too and I see the things my parents were able to do with their money that even though I live far more frugally than they did and make a lot more money than they ever did I am not able to do because the money just doesn't go as far. You're lying to yourself if you think it's equivalent.

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    #12
    Quote Originally Posted by trifish View Post
    I love that you just assume I'm regurgitating something from CNN and not just relaying personal experience from myself that happens to be in this age group, lives in a 2000 sf home, and has a child that I'm raising the best I can with the money I have available to me. Some of the bills you mention that are a part of life now....yeah, they're a part of life now you don't just get to leave that out. Life is more expensive now than it was and wages have not kept up with that. If you suggest everyone should just not have a phone or should not have tv or clothes? I mean that one's weird.

    You know just as well as I do that the inflation rate listed is far higher than advertised because things like energy and food are astronomically higher now than they were then. By the way I was born in 1986 too and I see the things my parents were able to do with their money that even though I live far more frugally than they did and make a lot more money than they ever did I am not able to do because the money just doesn't go as far. You're lying to yourself if you think it's equivalent.



    Lots of ASSumtions going on here. I grew up with one TV in the house, no cable with three channels, and one phone for five kids and two parents that was on the wall in the kitchen hooked to a real long coiled cord LOL. We had one car for all those people. My adopted father sold Chevy’s and mom finally got to be a stay at home mom. She graduated high school the same year I did.

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    #13
    This younger generation is screwed. They will likely never be able to afford a house. My 28 yo son is an engineer for a large big name engineering company here in Kansas City. He makes $90k a year. He has 2 kids that were planned and his wife does not work so they can save on child care. His rent for a 3 bed room house is $2k a month in a good school district. He is a product of the school district he now lives in. He still has to buy food, pay health insurance, pay car insurance, pay gas, etc. The price of everything is out of sight in todays world. My daughter lived with us to Bank some $ after she graduated. I help my kids out as much as I can. Help on car maintenance, watching the grandkids so they can have a date night. I feel sorry for my kids generation. I am in my late 50’s and am very concerned about the future of the USA.

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    #14
    Just an FYI, I don't have kids so this is just my observation. It's as much the parents fault as the kids. I know 3 couples with adult kids living at home. The parents can't let them go. My generation (born in the 70's) has done a horrible job preparing our youth to get out on their own I believe. A lot of us were latch key kids and didn't have much parental supervision in the 80's. I think many of us overcompensated. To answer the post, none of these kids pay rent. Not only that, the parents are still paying for their phones and car insurance.

  15. Member Jeff Hahn's Avatar
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    #15
    If they are out of school and working, but living at home, they’re going to pay some rent and something toward utilities, as well as share in housework. Mom and Dad have an obligation to raise them to adults. Then, it’s time for them to accept responsibility for themselves.

    Heck, when I got my first summer job as a teen, I had to pay my parents $5.00 rent every week. Unbeknownst to me, they sat that money aside in an account. When I got married, they gave me all of that money back…it was over $900.00.
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    #16
    Here is how I was raised, I leave it to BBC to pass judgement, im 34 now so to many of you I am still a kid.

    1st of all, im lucky enough that my parents had the means to support me to effectively whatever level they chose, many are not as lucky.

    Highschool I was required to have a part time job to provide myself with my own spending money. My parents would help with school essentials and obviously fed me.

    Highschool ended, I was required to work full time in the summer to pay for my books and getting to and from college. My parents paid my tuition, I decided to live at home and commute to college, I did not pay rent because I was in school.

    I did not have to work during the school semester but during summer break I worked full time for the city cutting grass for 4 months.

    I graduated from college and started by working full time moving hot tubs while i searched for a job in my field. Unfortunately I got laid off later in the summer when hot tub delivery season was winding down, my parents were very adamant that if I was laid off, I was to be treating finding a job in my field as a full time profession. This went on for a month, i did multiple interviews when the hot tub company finally re-enlisted me, during this time I managed to land a "career job" making more than $30k a year I began to pay rent. It was something like $300 a month.

    I lived at home for I believe 2 years paying the $300 an commuting to the city to work before I got tired of living at home, I had some money saved up from an investment that I made and I approached the bank to get a mortgage to buy my first house which I was going to get 2 of my friends to live in with me and pay rent, the bank wouldnt do the mortgage so my parents stepped in and helped give me the backing I needed. The rest is history.

    Long story short, if your kid is in school, you shouldnt charge them rent. If your kid is working full time, charge them rent, if your kid isnt working or is working a bogus part time or meaningless job, kick them out.
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    #17
    I think it has a lot to do with timing. It is not in your control per say, but, if you bought a home in 2014-2019, prices were 'normal' and increasing in value and rates were low. These things are cyclical, will housing go down, not really, but rates will and that changes payments. Rent rates are really high, the problem is, it is really hard to SAVE money while paying to live on your own. But also the inherent unseen costs of owning a home can be troublesome financially as well. It is a double edged sword.

    I worked in high school and in college so I could afford what I wanted to do. After college I was home until I got a good paying job and moved out for good at 23. I have done better than my parents did when I was young, also married pretty well ;). My wife and I plan on supporting our girls at least through college and then helping them with a purchase of a home so they can get their adult life started, but they have to show us that they have the want/desire to succeed in whatever they want to do at that point. Otherwise, rent away and live their lives as they see fit. But they need to have it together by the time they are off my health insurance lol.

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    #18
    the new math is a whole lot better than the math some of y'all were taught......


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  19. Member Rick H's Avatar
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    #19
    When my son turned 18 he knew everything and I knew nothing. He moved out got an apartment with a friend. After the lease was up and he lost about 30 lbs. He came home and paid rent and he knew nothing and I did know something?

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    Here is a thought for those that are having trouble growing up and cutting the cord......do something for your country.....enlist in the service and make the best of your opportunities. Your focus will change, and your growth rate will be phenomenal. If you happen to end up in combat you will grow up over night......guaranteed. Join the one percent that serve....it can be rewarding..

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