Adult Kids

[SJSharky00]

Blended family here. My 2 daughters were out of the house by age 20.
My Wifes daughter is still with us at 27. After a long "debate" with my wife of what we should start expecting from her, we finally started charging $400 rent when she stopped going to school.
We did make her go and buy her own phone, car, and insurance at 23 after she fell off our health insurance.
She has a boyfriend that is over all the time. Nice kid but dragging his feet on commitments. (hey I know how the "why buy the cow when...." goes)

We get along great but I cannot understand the lack of desire to get out on their own together.
Rent and houses are expensive, and we do not mind giving them a little time to figure it out. But come on!!!

If I could get a great paying job in Alabama I would rent this house to them, and the wife and I would go live down on lake G.

[Racingfan]

This was my first home. I bought It in 2008 for $207k. Brand new.

https://www.realtor.com/realestatean...7_M89113-08444

Compare that to the shit you get now for $200k and tell me it’s easy for the kids these days.

"tell me it's easy for the kids these days."

Where in the hell did I say "it's easy"????? I absolutely NEVER said that! And for that matter, I hope its HARD! I hope its damn hard! I hope you struggle your ass off! AND THEN,
I HOPE YOU SUCCEED! Because, nothing worth fighting for should be easy! And thats the beauty of it! Thats why millions and millions of people from all over the world risk their life to get here! Because they saw an opportunity of hope! They knew that if they could just get here to this country they would have A CHANCE to make it. It was never a guarantee!!!!!

Thats a lot of the problem with sooooo many young people today. They have had an easy button for everything their entire life!! Now when they actually hit THE REAL WORLD, they get a GIGANTIC reality check of what being an adult is. Can you handle it? Do you want to know why us "boomers" think the way we do? Its easy! When we are confronted with a problem, we do our best to figure it out! We don't sit around and whine and complain for someone to take pity on our circumstances... We pull up our boot straps like good little boys and girls and go tackle the damn world the best we know how! Stop comparing yourself to others. You'll never have what they have.
Life is damn hard at times! It takes A MAN to provide. There are less and less MEN everyday.
Nothing worth having should be easy! If it was easy, everyone would do it.

[Jaredn]

"tell me it's easy for the kids these days."

Where in the hell did I say "it's easy"????? I absolutely NEVER said that! And for that matter, I hope its HARD! I hope its damn hard! I hope you struggle your ass off! AND THEN,
I HOPE YOU SUCCEED! Because, nothing worth fighting for should be easy! And thats the beauty of it! Thats why millions and millions of people from all over the world risk their life to get here! Because they saw an opportunity of hope! They knew that if they could just get here to this country they would have A CHANCE to make it. It was never a guarantee!!!!!

Thats a lot of the problem with sooooo many young people today. They have had an easy button for everything their entire life!! Now when they actually hit THE REAL WORLD, they get a GIGANTIC reality check of what being an adult is. Can you handle it? Do you want to know why us "boomers" think the way we do? Its easy! When we are confronted with a problem, we do our best to figure it out! We don't sit around and whine and complain for someone to take pity on our circumstances... We pull up our boot straps like good little boys and girls and go tackle the damn world the best we know how! Stop comparing yourself to others. You'll never have what they have.
Life is damn hard at times! It takes A MAN to provide. There are less and less MEN everyday.
Nothing worth having should be easy! If it was easy, everyone would do it.

It sounds like you boomers had some good parents around to teach you all this stuff huh?

this easy button…where did it come from? Who gave it to them?

[posmallie]

I graduated from college in 2011 at the age of 22 and continued to live with my parents. My mom wanted to charge me rent, but my dad stopped her. He told her that I should be saving my money to buy a house. I was told that as long as I saved my money, I could live there rent-free until I bought a house. I worked several jobs and saved my money and bought a house at the age of 23. Had I decided to buy a new car, motorcycle, spend the weekends at the bars etc... they would have charged me rent or kicked me out. I don't think there is any right answer to this question. It depends on everybody's circumstances.

[basscat tyler]

Call it what you want, doesn't mean you're right.

https://www.epi.org/publication/char...ge-stagnation/

Try a more recent article. Things have shifted since the plandemic. Minimum wage may be in the $7+ range but nowhere around here can be people to work for twice that amount. Hell, my company starts at $22 an hour and full insurance after 30 days and we’re scratching and clawing to get people

[bassfisher444]

She has a boyfriend that is over all the time. Nice kid but dragging his feet on commitments. (hey I know how the "why buy the cow when...." goes)

We get along great but I cannot understand the lack of desire to get out on their own together.
Rent and houses are expensive, and we do not mind giving them a little time to figure it out. But come on!!!

One of the results of having premarital sex.

[coolwhip]

Both my buddies adult kids live at home with no jobs. All they do is play video games and sleep. One buddy has twin's that are 21 with no drivers license or car. Other buddy's kid has his drivers license, but no car. I'm not a father, but I would never set up my son or daughter for failure by having them do nothing with their lives. I'm afraid this is the norm now a days though.

[Racingfan]

It sounds like you boomers had some good parents around to teach you all this stuff huh?

this easy button…where did it come from? Who gave it to them?

Im assuming you are refering to it being us "boomers" fault for raising this generation. Im actually only 42yo so Im not exactly a boomer... However, I think you are right to think that my and the previous generation is very responsible for it! I've seen it with friends kids and such. I don't believe that all this "trouble" is 100% these "millenials" or "Gen Z". My point is that there comes a time in life where, I think, most, if not all people struggle. And there are two types of people. Those that fight and those that sit in the corner and pout... I think we are nearing a time when the pouters are out numbering the fighters. Lets all hope and pray that war isn't near.

[castforcash]

One of the results of having premarital sex.

[Jaredn]

Im assuming you are refering to it being us "boomers" fault for raising this generation. Im actually only 42yo so Im not exactly a boomer... However, I think you are right to think that my and the previous generation is very responsible for it! I've seen it with friends kids and such. I don't believe that all this "trouble" is 100% these "millenials" or "Gen Z". My point is that there comes a time in life where, I think, most, if not all people struggle. And there are two types of people. Those that fight and those that sit in the corner and pout... I think we are nearing a time when the pouters are out numbering the fighters. Let’s all hope and pray that war isn't near.

you do realize what millennials have been doing since around October of 2001 right?

[191 champ]

So many differences of opinion and I can see truth in nearly all of them. I have four kids and it is interesting to watch them grow and how different each one is.

Charging rent, it depends on the situation. I am charging rent to my youngest son who will be 21 soon because he is under achieving. I have had to kick him in the ass just to keep a job. Step 1, he's been working construction for about 8 months and has actually learned to like it. It has been a battle just to get him to this point. His rent may go up if he isn't going to school at night by summer. The money goes into a drawer and I will likely give it to him when he leaves. With him, I know that he will do NOTHING if I don't stay on him.

My youngest daughter moved in with us last summer with her two kids and fiance. They moved from Wisconsin without a job or any real plan. I didn't change them rent and they are now in a rental and a little better off than they were in Wisconsin. The difference was that they were busting their butts to find a job. She has also been going to school at night for the last few years. She did state that she did a dumb thing moving here without a plan, making decisions with her heart and not her head. Good, she has grown and learned and I'm glad I had the means to help.

I could go on for hours how each is different and the unique challenges each has faced. The oldest three couldn't wait to get out on their own. The youngest I had to force to get a driver's license at eighteen. But, he is the nicest, kindest, and most considerate of the four. They each have their strengths.

I will do all I can for each, even if they don't like it.

[bfrank]

Try a more recent article. Things have shifted since the plandemic. Minimum wage may be in the $7+ range but nowhere around here can be people to work for twice that amount. Hell, my company starts at $22 an hour and full insurance after 30 days and we’re scratching and clawing to get people

I don’t know what housing prices are like there…. But that’s going to be something like ~1300 net depending on tax exemptions and insurance costs and if you start taking out 10% for retirement it’s closer to ~1100. Around here that means 2/3 of your monthly net income covers you apartment. Add in utilities and you can’t hardly afford groceries and gas. This is what happens when wages don’t stay up with inflation for 40 years. You add to that they were almost completely flat for 12 years from 2008-2020 and a lot of these “good” paying jobs are barely making up that gap much less the last two.


There were good jobs when I graduated high school. I had a teacher who asked my mom if I’d started to college because if not he had a job lined up making 18 an hour for a bank in 2001. I could have lived at home a year and had a down payment for a house, a new truck, and an 18’ stratos straight out of school and they would have cost less than my first house 12 years later that was 165k. That’s way better than I’m guessing 22 an hour is unless things can be had really cheap in Iowa. But even so trucks have tripled and boats are about the same and 4 dollars an hour ain’t gonna help that.

[99R93S]

I think the world is a lot tougher place actually than it used to be. I also think each generation that comes along is a lot softer than than the previous one. I don’t believe it’s all their fault for that, parents get blame too. And again I am not saying everyone, I’m saying in general. I genuinely believe that internet/social media/phones have absolutely ruined humanity and things will never be the same. All I see when I go out anymore are just drones glued to screens. Call me negative, depressive, etc all you want, but I don’t see good outcomes for the future. One doesn’t have to look far to see a lot of bad signs out there.

[Hunt1down]

No it’s not as easy. I am an employer. I have employees. I know what I worked my ass off for. And I know what these employees work their ass off for today. My first home $68k made $13 hour in in 93. 6-7 days a week. That house is in a slum now days back then it was pretty nice and near where I grew up. I’m not sure because I haven’t checked but I am confident that house would sell today for $300k maybe more. If guy makes $30+ an hour now hate to tell you that’s not an entry level pay but that house price is in a shitty neighborhood and about as cheap a home price as you are going to find in Phoenix. Consider healthcare premiums, car insurance premiums milk eggs hamburger rice and beans electric bills and gas. The $13 an hour for 68k home at 7% in 93. .69 cents per gallon milk and eggs $1.25 gallon gas were more affordable than today. I don’t want to say it anymore than some of you want to hear it. But the American dream is getting further and further away everyday. And you can give thanks to redistribution of wealth and equality for lazy people for that. The people that will work have to pay more today for those who won’t work than we used to. Because those people are entitled to a roof over their head a cell phone and a new pair of shoes and that’s why millions and millions want to come here today. It’s not getting easier

[Hunt1down]

sorry To get off topic earlier. I left home when I was 19-20. I paid rent before I left then got a roommate then a wife then bought a home because I had parents who taught me it wasn’t smart to rent. I made the down payment but the realtor did kick me back some money to buy a used washing machine because I told him after the down payment I didn’t have any money for that. Nice guy to give me a hand. With that I absolutely think the kids should pay rent. And if the kids are frugal and don’t spend money they don’t have to buy garbage they don’t need on credit, if parents can help them out to buy a home it my be one of the best things a parent can do nowadays to help their kids achieve the American dream

[magfluker]

Both my buddies adult kids live at home with no jobs. All they do is play video games and sleep. One buddy has twin's that are 21 with no drivers license or car. Other buddy's kid has his drivers license, but no car. I'm not a father, but I would never set up my son or daughter for failure by having them do nothing with their lives. I'm afraid this is the norm now a days though.

Geeeeeeeeez. I hope that’s not the norm

[I.P. Freely]

Blended family here. My 2 daughters were out of the house by age 20.
My Wifes daughter is still with us at 27. After a long "debate" with my wife of what we should start expecting from her, we finally started charging $400 rent when she stopped going to school.
We did make her go and buy her own phone, car, and insurance at 23 after she fell off our health insurance.
She has a boyfriend that is over all the time. Nice kid but dragging his feet on commitments. (hey I know how the "why buy the cow when...." goes)

We get along great but I cannot understand the lack of desire to get out on their own together.
Rent and houses are expensive, and we do not mind giving them a little time to figure it out. But come on!!!

If I could get a great paying job in Alabama I would rent this house to them, and the wife and I would go live down on lake G.

Apply at Buc-Ees for a managers position In Alabama.

[mactlman]

26yo lives at home still. she pays rent and all her own stuff like car payment and insurance. I do pay for her cars electricity but she works from home and doesn't drive much. a bargain for all that she helps me do at home

[FISHON317]

Made them pay rent or mandate they save 25% of take home pay. And the rent they paid I gave back when they moved out

[apenland01]

My son is 26 and lives with me. He pays rent most months and occasionally buys groceries, although he eats out a lot. He's an HVAC tech and doesn't see the need to pay $1500 month for an apartment, when he can just pay $400 month rent and stay in a house with more room. I think it's a much more common situation than when I was younger and was on my own right after high school...