Living alone.

[cbell58]

hang in there buddy, a pet is a good idea. i need one myself, had to put a a little dog down last spring that i had for 17 years and still not over it,

[Bassin Bob71]

I think adopting a dog is a great idea. Stay strong!!!!

[bassfins]

1) You have to sleep!
2) You have to eat!
3) You have to have some type of distraction!
Ray, I am truely sorry!!! I dont know what I would do if I lost my other half. At present I am going through Depression and Anxiety issues. I have never been one who believed in the use of chemicals to even out the brain. I always thought I could handle everything myself. Just by thinking through it. However, a couple months ago, something snapped in my head. Now life is hard for me. I have since connected with a good doctor and councelor. Who are helping me re-conect with my life. I hate taking medications of any kind. However, my doctor has put me on some mild anti-depesants and mild sleeping medication. I will not tell you to go out and take a fist full of drugs to make it go away. But you have to SLEEP. I went about two weeks with about maybe 30 minutes of sleep a night. I got very desperate. One night, while my better half was at work and I was home alone. I reached a breaking point. At that point I found the power of the BBC. I logged on and found some folks on here, who were ragging on one another. It was funny as hell!! Those strangers, on the other side of my computer screen, were the HAND IN THE DARKNESS. That I so desperately needed on that night. Though I was alone on this HUGE planet. There were a few voices in the darkness, to tell me things would be OK! Strangers,- People I have never met! But hope to one day. Please IM me if you need to talk about anything!!! Hang in there my friend!

[OrygunBasser]

Thank you all for your support, suggestions and prayers.

There is so much more to this story than I have shared.

I still work about 6 hours a day, but I work alone and that really does not help. It does take up some time though.

Her facility is 15 miles from home, but I try and get in to see her at least three times a week and we have a date day on Sundays when I take her for a drive and out for a treat at the Dairy Queen. :) So difficult to see her fail week by week. There are seven stages of Alzheimers and she is 6+. There are days where she does not know me. But I know who she is or was. KIlls me to visit, but she would do it for me. Her family is scattered all over the state so I am the only one that visits her. The facility is small, very nice and her care is very good unlike some facilities. Four sections and only about 40 people in the whole place. She is by far the youngest there at only 59.

Would be better if the weather was better, I live on the best Bass Lake in the state but to be honest, I have no desire to do anything right now let alone fish.

We are Christians but we had to stop going about 4 years ago as she was uncomfortable going and honestly was getting nothing out of it. Surprisingly we have received no support from there at all, Zero, Nada. I guess 22 years in a church wasn't enough. I am unsure what I am going to do as far as my beliefs are concerned at this point.

I have two cats now, I considered a dog but being gone during the day is just better with cats as they are more independent.

I have cared for her all through this, A year and a half ago I had to get in home care for her while I worked during the day then had the night shift. Ironically, I Eventually I longed for the day I could have my own life back Never really thinking about being alone. Funny how your mind works, I was tired of doing everything for her, washing, bathing, feeding, dressing, entertaining etc. I was not getting much sleep. Then when I actually did place her a whole new life change faces me. Sometimes I wish I was still caring for her but I can't anymore, as she is beyond that now.


Modified by OrygunBasser at 10:52 AM 1/20/2012

[hatcreek]

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with such a terrible, terrible disease (my grandmother had Alzheimer's).

Always remember that you do have a large family here on BBC... Lots of shoulders to lean on, whenever you need them.

My prayers are with you, Ray.

[haveme1]

I feel for ya. I wish there was a quick fix but there is not.

I live alone for the most part. I had a bad wreck and my soul mate decided she didn't want a F'ed up fellow for a BF. So I feel left behind.

Things I am learning .... HALT - Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired. If you're any of these you will not make good decisions.

*Try to keep yourself eating correctly, Build good patterns.
*Practice thinking good things. Don't get stuck on the negative, Negative thinking sucks all positive energy from life.
*Get around other ppl. I live in a small town and there is a place where guys go and drink coffee and have a biscuit every morn. I go hang out with other ppl 3 to 5 times a week for an hr or two.
* Be sure and get proper rest. No alcohol or drugs, they lie, they will turn around on ya fast and cause the problems to get worse.

I suggest a "Primary Statement"
Something like <u>HOW WILL I SURVIVE THIS</u> (Make up one that you will feel)
Then every morning and every time your getting down on yourself you remind yourself of your primary statement and <u>Make It Happen</u>.

There are support groups ...... Put forth the effort to find em. You'll make some friends that do care.
Spend your time wisely and look for solutions.

Find a God that loves you unconditionally. Then let that God in.

[Alan S]

I can't imagine what you're going through. Our hearts and prayers go out to you and your wife.

[Joshthebadbear]

So sorry to hear brother ! Anytime you wish to call just to chat, send an Im and will get you number.

Sincere offer.

[siskiyoucrash]

<table width="90%" cellspacing=0 cellpadding=0 align=center><tr><td>Quote, originally posted by OrygunBasser &raquo;</td></tr><tr><td class="quote">How many of you have lost a loved one and are now living alone? I am 63 and had to just recently place my wife of 29 years in an Alzheimer facility. I am falling apart and do not know what to do with myself when I get home to an empty house. I find myself crying way more than I should be, not sleeping well. At least I am losing some weight which is a good thing. I have no family and few friends that do not have there own problems. No support groups in this podunk town either. Never faced anything so difficult. </td></tr></table> What Joey says Ray,,and knowing what the weather is like there right now look into getting some kind of sunlamp. We don't get enough Sunlight in Dunsmuir in the winter either and it has dramatic affects on folks here. Then wit for march to get here and get down to Shasta in some better weather! It ain't that far!

[TMG]

Sorry to hear what your going through

[badgerbass]

Very sorry your going through this. Is there someplace you can volunteer at to pass time? Or pick up a p/t job somewhere your around people. A pet is a good idea. Maybe contact a church for volunteering. Or find a youth near you(neighbor kid) to spend time with on the water teaching him to fish.

[quixtr]

Praying for you

[rattling rogue]

Hold on, try a senior center or your church you attend for help.. There is help, don't give up. Try the social services office in your community or a community outreach group. Hang in there....It will be OK.. The same thing happened to my uncle. He dealt with it, so can you. Be strong for her.....

[Bwana Juju]

I don't know if you are a member of a church, but if you are not, this is a great time to start. Faith & reliance on God & Jesus Christ is a wonderful comforter to a person in your situation. Plus many churches have support groups & offer counseling. I know there are support groups in your area for Alzeheimers partners, so check & see if you can join one of them. Talking about your experiences is great for the soul. Good luck & let us know how you are doing. God Bless, you will be in our prayers!

[crawdadking]

So sorry your going through this

[rudapa]

That's a very tough one - sorry. You have to find something that keeps you interested. You've got to keep yourself busy and don't let yourself get too down.

[Bassmeister]

Prayers lifted for you and yours in these trying times.......

[BoatBuggy]

That's a tough one. Hang in there.

[steveschrank]

<table width="90%" cellspacing=0 cellpadding=0 align=center><tr><td>Quote, originally posted by TNT &raquo;</td></tr><tr><td class="quote">I too just can't imagine what you're dealing with .. wish I was there to keep you fishing and busy </td></tr></table>+1!!!!