Who controls John Gill?
Always keep a roll in Boat, due to park ramp crappers haha, but always keep camper trailer stocked with a lot more haha. except for food & drink items, its just load that in and hook up and go camp.
2015 Xpress X19/ Yamaha VMAX 175 SHO
2015 Xpress X19/ Yamaha VMAX 175 SHO
This the thread that just keeps on giving!
Former USAF Gunner B-52H
I used to be a runner. The running/biking trail system in Tulsa is awesome. One fine morning as I'm just getting warmed up the urge hits. I'm trapped between big beautiful homes and the creek turnpike. I'm frantically looking for something to use for clean up as I know I'm not going to make it the two+ miles back to the truck and running shorts have bulit in support underwear so that's not an option. I finally spot a concrete culvert that goes under the turnpike, well at least I'll have some privacy. Run in, jumping over the puddles praying my sphincter can hold just a bit longer. I finally make it, experience sweet relief as two power walkers go by, thankfully they were to busy gossiping to look down the culvert at my white arse. Now to clean up after this epic experience.... I look around at the trash in the makeshift bathroom, nothing that might work. I finally spot a Walmart bag a few feet away. I waddle over and use it, rinsing it off in the standing water between wipes. I do the best I can and go finish my run, knowing that wiping with a plastic bag I've probably ruined my expensive running shorts. I run my 10 miles get home to shower and to my surprise the plastic bag got the job done 100% lol.
From then on I carried a "sweat" towel on my water belt just for emergencies.
1979 Glastron HPV165 140HP Johnson
Taxation is theft!
I can't stop laughin!!!!!! This just happened to me and a buddy a few weeks ago. He started to tell me he had one, "punching the cotton" and he had to go bad. He started sweating and feeling nautious, there was nobody on the water, so we trolled over to the shore, he ran up and found a tree to lean up against. I was laughing so hard I almost fell out the boat!!! He was doing a wall sit against the tree for about 10 mins. Funny stuff........I didn't have tp on the boat so he used a towel, needless to say I have tp on the boat now!!
2001 Ranger 518 DVX
2001 Mercury 200HP Optimax
2010 Regal 2700ES
2007 Hummer H3-160,000 miles and still going strong
(traded H3 in, 9/2018 with 210,000 miles)
2015 GMC Sierra SLT Z71 4x4
I can't help but to share - I've been laughing about this one for 10+ years. Seems like a logical place to share this one. Fishing with a dear friend of mine - Mid-January - snowy day - several inches on the ground - high 20's - around 11:00am he proudly presents with a fresh roll (one of the plush family-sized ones) in a large ziplock bag and asks to get out of the boat. He then disappears over the hill and I continue fishing. 10, 15, 20 minutes go by and I begin to become concerned for his safety . At 25 mins I text, then call and decide at 30 mins I will dock and go look for him - not sure what I will find... As I go to disembark I see him coming down the hill - as he gets closer I see he's a bit disheveled, bright red face, a slightly tattered - no, make that haggard, hair wet at the back of his head with his hair a muss and he is covered in snow - like he had been buried alive.... As he steps on to the boat and passes me on the bow I notice a peculiar odor. Neither of us said a word.
I get back to business - after a few minutes I notice theres a lot of commotion in the back of the boat - I turn to see a fresh garbage bag laid out on the deck with an empty TP roll next to it. I then witness him (silently) disrobe, then pull out a fresh(-ish) set of clothes and redress - Standing silently at the bow in disbelief - trying not to watch the train wreck unfolding in the back of my boat I noticed that he was only wearing one sock... No one says a word. Snow covered clothing goes in the trash bag - stuffs the bag in the spare storage locker - picks up his rod and starts fishing again like nothing ever happened. After an hour or so I can't help myself and ask "Dude - WTF happened?"..... 10+ years and I am still in tears over this one... As it turned out he finds his spot to his liking on the other side of the hill, nice and quite and no one around - a bit steep but he felt it was his only option. He kicks out some snow - drops thou - braces in the "ol' trusty" 90 degree poop-stance against the only tree available - does his business then realizes 1. he had set the zippy too far away to reach and 2. he's too old to recover from the "old-trusty" without some sort of assistance..... Stretches as far as he can - no luck as the bag is just out of reach - as luck would have it - he looks up and finds a dead limb hanging over him - plan is to grab the limb and break it off and use part of it to help fetch the zippy with the TP in it and/or use the limb to assist him out of the old-trusty... unfortunately, the limb is just out of reach..... After several frustrating near misses - he stretches up for one last attempt (in desperation).... in doing so he shifts his center of gravity just far enough to become unstable - slips on the snow - sides down the tree into his "business" then continues to slide (through his "stuff") about 50 feet down the hill.... After all these years I still laugh uncontrollably when telling this story....
As he confessed this traumatic sequence of events to me I tried - really I did - to be a good friend, to be supportive and not laugh.... But I failed, miserably.
I laughed until I hurt - almost regurgitated my breakfast sandwich and coffee. Then laughed some more. As the dust settled and I regained my composure I inquired about the missing sock and the entire roll of TP. As it turned out - as he was sliding down the hill on his bare backside trying to grab anything to arrest his descent - he did a "spread-eagle" maneuver thinking it would help - said he learned this when he was in the military.... In doing so he lost one of his "slip-on" boots and couldn't find it once he reached the bottom of the ravine. After several failed attempts of climbing back up the hill (with only one boot) to the zippy holding the TP he finally makes it. But he is so excited about the small victory that he had an uncontrollable "victory arm-pump" (think Tiger Woods sinking a 50' put for eagle - just not "spread eagle) to celebrate. When he did this he lost his balance - again - and in doing so the TP, now out of the bag rolls all the way down the hill and unfurls the entire roll.... At that point I did loose my McDonald's breakfast biscuit...
For the record - he did find his lost boot and I did not inquire about the missing sock - I figured somethings were better left to my imagination.
Since this trip - I always carry a spare set of warm clothes with me, pack baby wipes and never wear pull-on boots.... Hope this brings at least a few of you a fraction of the laughter that it has brought me over the years.
I call it taking a slam! Man have I ruined lots of socks. They do work pretty well! LOL
Baby wipes or dude wipes in the boat is your best friend!!
Mud shark.... I can't stop laughing. "Stocling sewer trout" has worn kinda thin so I'm stealing the mud shark one.
But I gotta ask, what kind of special towel is this that gets washed out after that?? I'm pretty sure there's no amount of sentimental making me keep that one. Lol
Astro-T, Thank you for your service
Prob already mentioned. Why TP... Bounty is bigger and more multi purpose...VIVA if your a softie
I have a water tight plastic container from the loose, roll-your-own tobacco that perfectly fits a roll of TB. Never leave home without it and also keep one in the truck.
I have a water tight plastic container from the loose, roll-your-own tobacco that perfectly fits a roll of TB. Never leave home without it and also keep one in the truck.
I have a roll in a Ziploc bag in my boat and SUV.
Just came across this thread after my own "duty calls" episode while fishing. Was totally unprepared so I set out to find a solution for the future.
What I found on Amazon was a portable camping potty that folds into a 2 inch thick pack. Combine that with biodegradable liners and flushable/biodegradable wet wipes and I think I'm ready for the next time nature calls.
Here is the solution I came up with:
Portable Toilet for Adults, XL Portable Toilet for Camping, 16.5'' Camping Toilet with Lid, Camp Toilet with Handbag, Travel Potty for Camping, Hiking, RoadTrip, Car, Tent, Porta Potty for Adults Kids https://a.co/d/4uVludj
Green Elephant Portable Toilet Bags - Camping Toilet Bags, Camping Potty Bags, Camping Poop Bags for People, Toilet Waste Bags for 5 Gallon Bucket, Camp Toilet Bag, 15 count, 8 gal, 1 mil (1 pack) https://a.co/d/61DR9Hu
Cottonelle Freshfeel Flushable Wet Wipes, Adult Wet Wipes, 8 Flip-Top Packs, 42 Wipes per Pack (8 Packs of 42) (336 Total Flushable Wipes), Packaging May Vary https://a.co/d/fblPVXf
---> Regards, Steve Yarbrough (AKA: SLYDoggieTN on YouTube)
- Apex 19/16/13, Mega 360, and Mega Live
- Minn Kota Ulterra Quest Trolling Motor
- (2) Cannon Optimum Bluetooth Downriggers
- Impulse Lithium Batteries... 36V 60AH for Trolling Motor, (2) 12V 120AH for Cranking & Electronics, 12V 60AH for Downriggers
I have one in my truck, one in my boat and wipes in my flight bag. You never know when it will hit you!
USN Retired
2020 Basscat Caracal
2020 Mercury 225 ProXS 4s