Well, big girl cheated on stickboy and now they are trying to work through things and avoid a divorce. She got a lap band surgery and lost about 200lbs and traded her moomoo in for a 2XL sweats. Ol stickboy caught her messing round with some other hippy in that commune they call home and filed for divorce. Being the dumbass hippies they are, they decided in their infinite wisdom to not hire an attorney but just handle it themselves. Would you believe them fools drug that hairy ape willy into a courtroom in a little suit and tried to set up "child support" with a judge? Anyway, they got to wait a time period and so they decided to go to Smokey Mts for Christmas and try to work things out and my wife (always the thoughtful one) volunteered to keep stinky ass for them. She knowed dang good and well we were going to Florida for Christmas! Great, now we cant fly and gotta drive 15 hrs with that hairy ape farting,rubbing boogers on the windows, fondling himself every 15 minutes...what a trip!
And did I mention the wife is the only one the sumbitch will obey or listen to? Fights me tooth and nail over everything. Screams the whole time. Then as soon as he calms down and my back is turned...plop!...he throws poo on me. Somewhere around Georgia my wife started fussing about stopping at a rest stop to pee so we pulled over and she went in first while I sat in the car. Mr willy threw the damnest fit you ever seen when the wife left. I tried to calm him down but it made it worse. I could have dealt with him but he come from the back seat and attacked me from behind. I was screaming and cursing...Willy was screaming....I was bleeding...passerbys were staring at us...just as I reached my pistol the wife returned and opened the door. Of course he went to her just like an innocent litle baby!
What does the wife say to me? "What are you doing to him"? WTH? Sitting there clawed all to hell, hair messed up, ear bleeding gasping for air and its my fault?
Got to Florida and for some strange reason nobody even noticed we had a spider monkey dressed in a flowered shirt.He did well as a house guest at my Dads and actually cheered the old man up a bit by doing those things apes will do-sticking his finger in his butt sniffing it and making a crazy face...whipping boogers on the curtains...eating popsickles and suckers, etc...you know, those things lovely little apes will do.
Im pretty sure she wont be inviting us back next year. Anyway after we got home and started back to work, Mr Willy "acted up" every time the wife went to work. Typical "willy stuff". I couldnt sleep and finally got tired of waiting on them to come get him and took his little hairy ass home. Not really anything exciting except maybe the rest stop fight. Overall I guess he did better than normal or maybe Im just getting used to his antics. oh yeah and it looks like the divorce is off for now. The wife and big girl got a class reunion next Summer. Im sure Mr Willy will make a appearance. until then...
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Originally Posted by RangerOwner18
