3 days

[Original TrickWorm]

The last 3 days have been tough, enlightening, heart breaking and heart warming. The fact that for so long we heard of how hard it was to sleep with a new baby made me wondered how someone could make it with no sleep ..... I quickly learned that it is much better to be awaken by a screaming baby that to awaken and sit wondering why it is you can't hear your crying baby. People ask how we are doing and how we are feeling and to both I answer fine as I don't know what else to answer ..... we are waking up everyday we are smiling, laughing and loving and we know it won't be east but we will meet each day head on ...... we have been surrounded by family almost constantly which allows us to take our minds of the tragedy that has fallen upon us. We feel as if in someway when out minds are elsewhere we are cheating our little man which is no longer with us but at the same time we can't allow misery to encompass our lives. I don't truly know whether to try and return to my daily routine of doing the things I love or to sit in the house and mourn. My wife and I talk every night before we go to bed and every morning before our house fills with people we have made an incredible amount of headway just holding one another and talking to each other. We have healed one another quite a bit but still have much healing to do. I have pics of the baby on my comp and when I can get a little further along in the healing process I will post them for you all to see.

Thank You all so deeply and truly for your support and prayers.

It is amazing to me how many people that my wife and I have come in contact with which have been touched by us and consider us friends. I believe as much as anything that phone calls from people you haven't talked to in years and things from those who you pass everyday and acknowledge with a polite greeting then continue that now want to make sure you know if you need them they are there. I have also learned alot about my family and the only thing which I am incapable of understanding is why the birth/death of my first born son was needed for our vast family to simply treat one another with respect and civility. Remember if you don't like it overlook it if you can't fix it accept it........ be everything you can to everybody and if it would make you cry to lose it don't b**** about it

[FireBassr]

Mike, what words of wisdom. Not often a grown man puts a tear in my eye, but one did today.

Your pain has certainly made us all realize that we take way too much for granted, and get wrapped up in unimportant things. We're just up the road, let us know if you need anything at all.

[tuckerabbi]

[Big Johnson]

You're constantley in our thoughts and prayers Trick.

[billybass]

My prayers are with you and your family Mike. I know we don't know each other all that well but please, if you need anything at all just sayt he word.

[VirginiaRiverRat]

Mike,

I know mourning is different for everyone. It's been a little over 4 months since we lost Steven and I still have some tough days and questions that can't be answered. I think it's especially hard for a parent to lose a child. As much as I love fishing it was hard to enjoy myself when I'd get out on the water. There's always doubts about whether you should be somewhere else and guilt about doing something you enjoy when you should be sad. Your first few trips fishing or hunting may be difficult, but it's something you need to do. I know Steven wouldn't want me to stop doing what I love because of him.

Talking with your wife every morning and evening is fantastic. Let each other know how you feel and what you're going through. I still haven't told Abby how sad I am when I'm home alone in the evening or on weekends when she's working.

Call anytime you need to talk.

[pete 1]

[Blue Steel]