Second Joke of the Day

[ChampioNman]

Mr. Shwarz has passed on to his great rewards.

Upon his arrival at the embalmer, the undertaker Mr. Jones begins his preperations for the task.

Pulling back the covers off Mr. Shwarz's cadaver he notices that Mr. Shwarz was VERY well endowed and he had never seen one quiet so huge in all of his 40 years in the business!!

He says to himself that he can't let Mr. Shwarz go to his final resting and decides to take matters into his own hands and preserve Shwarz's member for eternity.

He removes Mr. Shwarz's member and puts it into his brief case.


He goes home to the wife and gives here a hug and kiss, she pours him his after work cocktail and asks how the day went.

He tells here honey you won't believe the day and opens the brief case.


His wife turns pale and bellows out Oh my God Shwarz is dead!!

[GhostComanche]

ChampioNman, That's cool; I am a Funeral Director by profession! Never heard that one before!

[cfieldbasser]

(I laughed at the other one I guess I gotta laugh at this one too. )

Roger, my hat's off to ya...

[Bassmeister]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

[1rudebee]

Dude, that ain't right!!!

[Eric B]

[ACBass]

Fred!! you're a hoot!!!

AC

[SEAHORSE]

OK, CM, I'm sure more than a few of us on this board can relate to the following:

PROFESSIONAL HELP
-----------------------------------------


A father walks into a bookstore with his young son. The boy is holding
a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face The
father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking,
shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue
business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup
of coffee.

At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down,
neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, gets up from
her
seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the book store.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants; takes hold of
the
boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and
then
ever so firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and
coughs up the
quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the
boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back
to
her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the
father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, "I've
never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic Are
you
a doctor?

"No," the woman replied. "Divorce attorney".

[DoferGofer]

Ok guys, since we are on the topic. Take a look at this one.

Amish Driver


An Amish woman was driving her buggy to town when a highway patrol officer stopped her.

"I'm not going to cite you," said the officer.
"I just wanted to warn you that the reflector on the back of your buggy is broken and it could be dangerous."

"I thank thee", replied the Amish lady.
"I shall have my husband repair it as soon as I return home."

"Also," said the officer, "I noticed one of your reins to your horse is wrapped around his testicles.
Some people might consider this cruelty to animals so you should have your husband check that too."

"Again I thank thee. I shall have my husband check both when I get home."

True to her word when the Amish lady got home she told her husband about the broken reflector, and he said he would put a new one on immediately.

"Also," said the Amish woman, "The policeman said there was something wrong with the emergency brake."

[cfieldbasser]