This was posted in the Lounge but I thought it was appropriate here...
A thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewelry and money. Man started sobbing and said,
“You can take anything you want. You can kill me also. But please untie the rope and free her.”
Thief: “You must really love your wife!”
Man: “No, but she will be home shortly”.