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  1. Member jimsch's Avatar
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    #21
    Quote Originally Posted by Imavol View Post
    Really fun to crop dust at the grocery.
    In the meat section?

  2. Member JStew's Avatar
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    #22
    Crop dusting’s always good clean fun. I prefer bread or dairy sections, but you have to maintain silence to be effective.

  3. Member
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    #23
    Waiting in Walmart yesterday for my dog's prescriptions, I was in the craft section when I got a sharp pain with accompanying gurgling in my belt region. I quickly sidled into the sewing shelves and was awarded a large rather stinky Southern explosion. Thank God it was silent, but very deadly, even I could not abide the odor. As I quickly tried to exit the polluted side aisle two guys in the main aisle stopped their cart and tried to let me go first. I declined, because it was so bad I didn't want anyone to follow behind me.
    A couple of years ago my buddy Jack and I were shopping Sporting Goods, again in Walmart when he grabbed me and said quick get out of here. He had dusted the aisle. We went to the cash register area; two guys walked into that aisle and ran out coughing. We laughed our butts off!
    Don't let boomers in public, unless you can escape the scent.

  4. Member
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    #24
    I just remembered I talked to my daughter on the phone yesterday and this subject came up. She said if you smell or let an SBD (silent but deadly) in a crowded area, ask "Did somebody make popcorn"?
    When everybody takes a deep sniff, try not to collapse laughing.

  5. Member
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    #25

  6. Member
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    Illinois
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    #26
    Quote Originally Posted by slonezp View Post
    I was enjoying breakfast at the Billy Goat Tavern (made famous on SNL back in the 70's) I was sitting at the window enjoying the breakfast special while watching a homeless man vomit. It's wrong because his suffering infringed on my enjoyment.
    I really need.....er, want a triple cheeseboger ASAP!
    I'm not dead yet.....competition is the life blood of any human being

  7. Member
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    #27
    What i hate is when somebody blows there nose in a resturant while folks are trying to eat.

  8. Member
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    Macon MO
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    #28
    When you get old it's very dangerous to crop dust as it may actually be released as a shart!

  9. Member jbassman87's Avatar
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    #29
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaw62 View Post
    What i hate is when somebody blows there nose in a resturant while folks are trying to eat.
    My mothers 2nd husband did this at every meal.

  10. Member basscat21's Avatar
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    #30
    My 82 yr old father believes it's his duty to crop dust Costco after the 150 hot dog.

  11. Member Bassman Ia.'s Avatar
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    #31
    Quote Originally Posted by billnorman1 View Post
    I just remembered I talked to my daughter on the phone yesterday and this subject came up. She said if you smell or let an SBD (silent but deadly) in a crowded area, ask "Did somebody make popcorn"?
    When everybody takes a deep sniff, try not to collapse laughing.

  12. Ya, I Live on Rainy Lake! basscla's Avatar
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    #32
    Quote Originally Posted by basscat21 View Post
    My 82 yr old father believes it's his duty to crop dust Costco after the 150 hot dog.
    Gives you something to look forward to later in life...

  13. Major Flagelator Gamblinman's Avatar
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    #33
    Quote Originally Posted by jimsch View Post
    In the meat section?
    Deli..while they're all lined up waiting.
    "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

  14. Member grayline's Avatar
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    #34
    Never Ever poop on a plane!! You walk down that isle with the poop smell following you

  15. Banned
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    #35
    Quote Originally Posted by jimsch View Post
    In the meat section?

    In the Cheese section when the Lady is giving samples away.. That way, the people that make funny faces will be able to "sell it". I mean anyone can go and fart but takes a real pro to make someone else dry heave ... Just don't shit Your pants because there aren't many brown cheeses, unless You count the rind on some, these also will 'hide Your deed'

  16. Member SoonerFan's Avatar
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    #36
    Quote Originally Posted by bustasack View Post
    pooting
    Just to be clear; women poot...men fart.

    Ever since I lost my hearing and developed IBS at the same I have to be especially careful in public places. Someone can walk up behind me just as the gas jet is getting ready to break the sound barrier.
    Don't worry Ma'am....
    I'm only here for the
    Bass.

  17. Member santee bass's Avatar
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    #37
    This thread reminded me of “Booger” in the movie “Porkys”.That was a one funny movie.

  18. Banned
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    #38
    Missouri Handkerchief > Only takes 2 seconds and its on the Ground/Floor. . . .

  19. Banned
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    #39
    Quote Originally Posted by santee bass View Post
    This thread reminded me of “Booger” in the movie “Porkys”.That was a one funny movie.
    I met up with a few neighborhood guys at the theater and we decided to go see Porkys... I never laughed so hard for so long at any Movie... When that Big Lady grabs that kids dong when he sticks it in that hole in the woman's shower >> >> To be a teenager again.

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