Times When Honesty Is Not the Best Policy

[96ranger492vs]

I thought it would be funny to start a thread to post funny situations when honesty is not the best policy. I'll start:

When you fart in an elevator and it stinks so bad it's visibly obvious the other people smell it, honesty is not the best policy if someone asks who farted, just stand there and try to blame it on the other guy

[Lowerider58]

When your wife ask" Does this outfit make my butt look big?" Do not say "Well Yeah".

[Hez]

When your wife ask" Does this outfit make my butt look big?" Do not say "Well Yeah".

But I like big butts and I can not lie

[RERUN]

Someone farts in the elevator, someone else sprays pine scent, drunk gets in at the next floor and says man, someone shit a Christmas tree in here

[BigMouth]

Do you know how fast you were going?

[Joe4d]

When your wife ask" Does this outfit make my butt look big?" Do not say "Well Yeah".

You could still be honest and say no.
Cause it aint the dress doing it.

[jimsch]

Not any fatter than the last outfit.

[quikcarl61]

Define big!!!!

[mean_dean]

When your kid walks into your bedroom while the wife and yourself having a good time, time to say "Mom has the hiccups and I'm trying to scare them away." or something.

[Stumblebum]

I thought it would be funny to start a thread to post funny situations when honesty is not the best policy. I'll start:

When you fart in an elevator and it stinks so bad it's visibly obvious the other people smell it, honesty is not the best policy if someone asks who farted, just stand there and try to blame it on the other guy

Reminds me of Jim Carrey in the movie Liar,Liar

[SoonerFan]

When the box from Tackle Warehouse arrives on the front porch and your wife asks, "How much did all that cost"? ...and you say, "Just a little over $50 so I could get the free shipping".

[Aric11]

Wife: "And how do you plan on paying to fish this tournament"... Me: "I have a sponsor"... Wife naively replies "Oh okay".. Me thinking "Ya, the Visa Pro-Staff, they only charge me 25%"...

[lifetime1962]

I love that one .I did not get away with it

[jc1992]

Wife looks randomly in the gun safe. “Babe where did this gun come from?”
husband: That one? It’s been there where have you been?”

worked awesome till she found the receipt

[.44mag]

Wife asks who broke the vase, reply it was your cat.

[fishinFamily]

Wife asks who broke the vase, reply it was your cat.

i definitely wasn’t trying to flip a jig in there.....

[Hez]

i definitely wasn’t trying to flip a jig in there.....

That is what coffee cups are for

[Roddy]

Wife looks randomly in the gun safe. “Babe where did this gun come from?”
husband: That one? It’s been there where have you been?”

worked awesome till she found the receipt

If you leave them.in the dark.they reproduce.