Sometimes the extra kick is in the gun and not the caliber. Example I had a 300 win mag that would knock your dick loose and I had another one that was like shooting a 30/30. The difference was in the weight and balance of the gun,plus a small kick pad. In a perfect world you could "test shoot" to see if she can handle the recoil. Plus make sure it fits her body size. I think the right .308 would be no problem for a lady.