ALABAMA HUMOR

[Wall-I]

A guy from ALABAMA passed away and left his entire estate to his beloved widow, but she can't touch it 'till she's 14.

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How do you know when you're staying in a ALABAMA hotel? When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "Go ahead."
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How can you tell if an ALABAMA redneck is married? There's dried tobacco juice on both sides of his pickup truck.
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Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in ALABAMA to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools.
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What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw"in ALABAMA?
Documentaries.
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Where was the toothbrush invented? ALABAMA. If it had been invented anywhere else, it would have been called a teeth brush.
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An ALABAMA State trooper pulls over a pickup on I-65 and says to the driver, "Got any I.D?" and the driver replies"Bout wut?"
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Did you hear about the $3 million ALABAMA State Lottery? The winner gets $3.00 a year for a million years.
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The governor's mansion in ALABAMA burned down! Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park. The library was a total loss too. Both books-poof! up in flames and he hadn't even finished coloring one of them.
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A new law was recently passed in ALABAMA. When a couple gets divorced, they are STILL cousins.
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A guy walks into a bar in ALABAMA and orders a mudslide.The bartender looks at the man and says,"You ain't from 'round here are yaboy?
"No", replies the man, "I'm from Arkansas."
The bartender looks at him and says, "Well, what do ya do in Arkansas?"
"I'm a taxidermist,"said the man.
The bartender, looking very bewildered now, asks, "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?"
The man says,"I mount animals."
The bartender hollers to the whole bar..."It's okay boys, he's one of us!"

[LTZ25]

Them some good ones .

[RERUN]

Did you hear that Northwestern football doesn't have a website?
Yeah, they can't string three Ws together.
What separates an average team from a great team?
The Wisconsin-Illinois border.
What do you call a student at the University of Illinois?
Someone rejected from Northwestern.
What term do you use to refer to an Illinois politician?
Inmate.

[strmwalker]

Short Illinois Jokes
Q: Why do Northern Illinois grads keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: Why did Forrest Gump choose 'Bama over University of Illinois?
A: He wanted an academic challenge!

Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the University of Northern Illinois campus?
A: A visitor.

Q: How many University of Northern Illinois freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course

Q: What happens when blondes move from Michigan to Illinois?
A: Both states become smarter!

[leonreno]

Why doesn’t the panhandle of Florida slide off into the Gulf of Mexico?
Alabama sucks

Whats the best thing to ever come out of Alabama?
I-20

[Doorman1]

How can you tell that your trailer is level in Alabama . Drool comes out of both sides of your baby's mouth.

[RERUN]

What do Illinois college graduates and tornados have in common????

They both end up in trailer parks.

[WPS456]

How do you get an Alabama grad off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza

Why is Tennessee's team color orange?
So they can wear it to the game on Saturday, to the deer woods on Sunday and on the highway picking up trash on Monday.

What did the Alabama grad say to the Arkansas grad?
Welcome to McDonald's can I take your order?

[stratosjoe]

WPS "where" oh never mind !

[WPS456]

WPS "where" oh never mind !

Lol! Fixed it, I usually proofread before posting but was in a hurry on that one.

[Macsimus]

Why do all the football fields in Iowa have artificial turf?
To keep the cheerleaders from grazing at half time.

A guy from MN walks into a bar in Iowa. Bartender walks over and asks, "what'll ya have"? MN guy says he'd like a beer and asks the bartender if he'd like to hear an Iowa joke.
The bartender says, "well, I don't know". "Ya see those three big fellows sitting at the table over there"?
MN guy says "yah, why"?

Bartender says, "the redhead goes 360, the blond fellow goes 300, and the third guy goes 325 and they all play on the O line for the Hawkeyes. Now, do you still want to tell that Iowa joke?".

Mn guy pauses and then says, "well, not if I have to explain it three times".