when a priest walks up and asks what he has there?

Johnny: I have the most powerful liquid in the world.

Priest: Well then you must have Holy Water.

Johnny: Nope. It's turpentine.

Priest: You have that wrong Johnny. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. If you spread some Holy Water on a pregnant woman's belly, she will pass a boy.

Johnny: That's nothing. I spread a little turpentine on a cat's ******* and he passed a Harley.