Results 1 to 16 of 16
  1. #1
    Member unkdale's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Carthage, MS
    Posts
    213

    Two Truths and 5 Rules of Life

    SIMPLE TRUTH 1:
    Lovers help each other undress before sex.
    However, after sex, they always dress on their own.
    Moral of the story -- In life, no one helps you once you're screwed..

    SIMPLE TRUTH 2:
    When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats."
    But, none of them comes up to the man - touch his penis and say, "Good job."
    Moral of the story -- Hard work is rarely appreciated.

    FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE:
    1. Money cannot buy happiness - but it's far more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than on a bicycle.
    2. Forgive your enemy - but remember the *******'s name.
    3. If you help someone when they're in trouble - they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
    4. Alcohol does not solve any problems - but then, neither does milk.
    5. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

    BONUS RULE:
    Condoms do not guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband.

    I think Congressmen should wear uniforms. You know, like NASCAR drivers, so we could identify their corporate sponsors!

  2. Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    The Box, CA
    Posts
    14,150
    #2

  3. Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Blenheim Ontario
    Posts
    999
    #3

  4. Member cashion1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    3,576
    #4
    All so true
    "SEE YOU AT THE TOP"

  5. Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Pekin IL
    Posts
    32
    #5
    words to live by !

  6. Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    Dandridge Tennessee
    Posts
    1,203
    #6
    Y'all be careful out there and don't catch'em all!

  7. Member Ryan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Louisville,KY
    Posts
    4,722
    #7
    Ain't that the truth.

  8. Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Benton, AR
    Posts
    2,459
    #8
    Thats good like the first being screwed and that is right.

  9. Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    Belton, SC
    Posts
    855
    #9


    Benny Rigney

  10. Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Insomnia, near Seaford Delaware
    Posts
    35,516
    #10

  11. Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Location
    NW Georgia
    Posts
    32,810
    #11
    Excellent truth.
    Praying for a Cure

  12. Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Location
    Suring,wi
    Posts
    910
    #12
    Yea buddy
    Outlaw Bass

  13. Member Ohio Archer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    SW Ohio
    Posts
    711
    #13
    2018 Skeeter MX1825 w/175 Yamaha 4-Stroke
    80# MK Ultrex w/ I-Pilot
    HB Helix 10 SI Mega, HB Helix 9 SI, Helix 9, Garmin 106SV
    USAF Ret

  14. #14

  15. idbefishing
    Guest
    #15
    #4 not true. Milk helps when you ate a hot pepper that you can’t handle

  16. Member hooksetter5's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Northern Illinois
    Posts
    2,582
    #16
    Yep!


    Mississippi River Pool 13
    Ranger R93 / Merc 200