Couple of guys sitting in a bar, when one of them asks what day it is. Why, it's the second of July, 2017 answers the other. The other one bursts out in tears. Why are you crying asks the first guy? Well, he said, ten years ago today my father-in-law caught me and his daughter making woopee in the back of my van, and said we had to get married or he'd charge me with statuatory rape. Well, said the first guy, you're pretty emotional, did you forget to get something for your wife's anniversary present?
No, he replied, I'd have been eligible for parole today.