Thread: Confused!!!

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  1. #1
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    Confused!!!

    So most of you know the story about my wife so i am not going to give all those details again, but she has been having some bad days and with the tumors in her brain cause some really ****ed up things. She sits on the couch and just instantly falls asleep, or start talking in her sleep, start talking incoherently etc. It is starting to cause problems cause i try to wake her, and sometimes it takes a while so i get aggravated and when she wakes up she senses it so it starts a fight. I know its not her fault, and i try to tell myself this but it doeant work. Then i start to wonder if this is how it is supposed to be, me getting to the point of, not necessarily hating, but having distance between us so when that time comes its not so difficult. I just dont know anymore. Sorry for the language but i get so damn aggravated i dont know what to do. Work all day, get home, take care of the kids, normal housekeeping, then the stuff i mentioned above. Some days i sit at my desk and just dread going home. It is an absolute terrible feeling.

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  3. Member Pro-Hunt's Avatar
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    #2
    Hang in there man. I feel for you; I really do! You are in a tough situation for sure!!
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  4. Moderator JerryT's Avatar
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    #3
    Its for better or for worse..Would she do the same for you ?
    Northern Rally 14.... June 4th -11th 2017 !!!!!!

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    #4
    Can you get a day nurse (govt programs. or ask the hospital for help especially to talk to someone. How about a family member of hers to help and talk to you and your wife and help around the house ? I am sure someone here will have better ideas than my ideas. Check this out >> Hospicenet.org..>> a lot of stuff.....Stay Strong....Kiss Nation is behind you bro !!
    Last edited by Basscaster; 01-11-2017 at 11:44 PM.

  6. Member WVBullet's Avatar
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    #5
    Yes, do hang in there. You and her both are going through a very tough time. When it starts getting aggravating, step back for a moment and take a few breathes. Even if it means doing it several times. Trust me on this one. Stay strong for you and her both!

    2008 21XD 2008 300xs

  7. Member ou1dadgumit's Avatar
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    #6
    You are doing the best you can. But plan some time away. Couple hours a week if possible.

  8. Member Greg58's Avatar
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    #7
    Don't beat yourself up, I think anybody would feel and do the same thing as you. Good luck man and just take it a day at a time.

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    #8
    Caring for someone with a chronic health condition can be VERY stressful for the caregiver. It is common for a serious illness to cause so much stress for a spouse or family member that their health is effected too. Talk to her Doctor, and talk to your Doctor about this. There are resources and people who can help. You don't have to carry the burden alone.

  10. Member
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    #9
    Prayers for you, your wife and family. Hope she gets better real soon.

  11. Member
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    #10
    In the areas where she isn't able to function, you must do it for her. You are learning the details of one so stricken. I would hope her medical team leader would give you details of what to expect, and how to best deal with it.

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    #11
    Prayers for you and your family. God has put you in this situation for some reason and will see you through it...

  13. Member Iowa Bass Hunter's Avatar
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    #12
    She needs you. And so do the kids. Be strong. Take a breather when you feel the need. Overcome!

  14. Member
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    #13
    You must hang in there even no matter how bad it seems. Be very patient and remember the kids as well. Cancer can destroy familys but do not let it destroy yours. Pray and ask for help and it will come. Reach out to family and stay strong for you and the wife and kids. I have been there and i realize how tough things can get.

  15. Georgia Fishing Reports Moderator
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    #14
    My dad put his life on hold when my mom started going downhill to take care of her. Was a lose lose situation. Couldn't really afford other options was challenging for him to quit work. But it was the right thing for him to do as a devoted husband and head of the family. We are all much stronger because of it. But it took many of us helping out ot give him a break as needed. Do either of you have family that could help occasionally?

    God bless sir and hang in there!!

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    #15
    Hang in there, it's God's plan. This might sound a bit smart @$$ but it's really not meant to and it's one thing that helps me out. When you get aggravated try as hard as you can to put yourself in her shoes. I'm sure you understand it, but what's this putting her thru? It's inevitable that each of you will have those days and that's when you just have to try to step back for a few. Go organize some tackle, just peter around in the boat, cut the grass, whatever to get your mind off it for a few minutes. Remember, she is dealing with all the same stuff as you PLUS the tumors. On top of that she needs your strength to help push her to be strong. God knows your strong enough to handle this but rely on him for the strength

  17. Member Flippin 416's Avatar
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    #16
    Quote Originally Posted by kry29 View Post
    Hang in there, it's God's plan. This might sound a bit smart @$$ but it's really not meant to and it's one thing that helps me out. When you get aggravated try as hard as you can to put yourself in her shoes. I'm sure you understand it, but what's this putting her thru? It's inevitable that each of you will have those days and that's when you just have to try to step back for a few. Go organize some tackle, just peter around in the boat, cut the grass, whatever to get your mind off it for a few minutes. Remember, she is dealing with all the same stuff as you PLUS the tumors. On top of that she needs your strength to help push her to be strong. God knows your strong enough to handle this but rely on him for the strength
    There is some great advice in here. Empathy is something that we all must practice....you never know what someone is going through until you take a few steps in their shoes. It can be a tough thing to do but it can bring great peace. Also...you fell in love with a person at a certain time....that same person is still there, you just have to remember why you fell in love with that person in the beginning. Those reasons are still there.

    I feel for you and hope and pray that you and your family have much better days ahead!

  18. Member yanknbass's Avatar
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    #17

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    #18
    Hope things get better for you.

  20. Member LewStulePH.D.'s Avatar
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    #19
    You might also look into "Respite Care", which should include some counseling for the 'care provider'...

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Respite_care

    "Service-To-Others" is the most righteous 'Service-To-Self'.. In reality You are helping You.
    All Indians walk single file, at least the only one I knew did...

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    #20
    I went through some of these same things with my wife and her fight with cancer. You have to step back and take a moment to reflect on your commitment to her " For better or for worse, in sickness and in health till death do you part " I am sure you are aware of this already but she needs you more now than ever .As tough as it can be sometimes for you it is tougher for her . You are her "rock" . PM me if you would like to talk. I don't mind at all.

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