Back in my younger days, A few buddies and I went out drinking one night and one of them picked up a girl at a bar. We went back to her place and he went inside with her while we waited outside. Well, I had to go real bad and barely made it out of the truck. I chit in a patch of grass beside the truck. I got back in and passed out.
Next morning, buddy came out of house and stepped in my chit barefoot!! He got in truck and was complaining that he had stepped in dog chit. I told him what had happened and he and other buddy both started throwing up!!
<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Neilslure »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">A fishing rag works good in a pinch. You can just wash it out.</TD></TR></TABLE>
<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by icemanrrc »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">I've used the sock before.
One time I had to go so bad I thought I was about to bust my insides. I was in real pain and had doubled over in the boat to the point where I yelled "Sonny Jim" at the top of my lungs. My buddy took control of the trolling motor and luckily their were some bathroom houses close by. I make it to the bathroom house only to read "closed until spring". Son of a b**** I yelled! Still in sever pain, I am now desparate. I know that if I don't release this demon, it will release itself. I look around and see this old beat up white jacket on a picnic table. No one was nowhere near so I am assumed by the looks of it, that it has been there a while. I grab it! As soon as I do, I am in pain like never before. I don't even look to see if anyone is around. I drop my pants and chit comes shooting and flying out like a fire hose. Keep in mind I released the genie right in the middle of a walking/jogging trail next to a picnic table. To this day, I have no idea what I ate that was bad, but whatever it was, it gave me the worst case of the squirts I have ever had. I wipe with the old white jacket (I bet it took 10 wipes). Just as soon as I am releaved of the screaming demon and had my composure, I hear several voices coming up the trail. I sure heck didn't want to be around when they found the pile of liquid chit I left. So I threw the jacket back on the table and ran like I stole something. The voices that I had heard were joggers. They stopped at the picnic table. One of them saw the chit pile and soup and begin to grimace, gag, and point. The other person said, "And look! They used your jacket to wipe their ass!"</TD></TR></TABLE>
<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by Wheels »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">Only one problem with the porta-potty idea....it may not be deep enough to prevent backsplash in case one has to perform "the move". </TD></TR></TABLE>
That is always the running joke around here. You can tell who had greazy buffet the night before a tourney; come weigh in time, those are the guys missing a sock or one of the sleeves of their tshirt gone. Funny thread.
Eat, Sleep Fish
1997 Hydra Sport LS205
Where Smallmouth is King
Back in 88 I was fishing the 2nd day with a pro(I was in a pro AM at the big O)
well the pro had to go and we were in the rim canal jigging lay downs,He just dropped his shorts leaned over the side behind the steering wheel and let fly.
At that moment a big 40 or so ft yatch cruises by with a bunch of people on deck drinking and waving and the pro yelled hey and waved back.
A few yrs later the pro I was with won BASS angler of the yr..
Man, you guys ain't right. I have laughed more in the last 15 minutes reading these posts, than I have in I don't know how long. I have some similar duck hunting stories, but damn, a few of these posts are hysterical. Thanks fellas I needed that laugh!!!!!! What a great topic!!!!
My Father in Law always gave me a hard time about how many layers of clothing I wear when I hunt. Usually, we're hunting in pretty cold country, so longjohns, tee shirt, long sleeve t-shirt, button up cammo shirt, jacket. We were hunting 2 years ago and the urge to purge hit me and I high tailed it into the dark woods. After I got to working on the task at hand, I realized with all my gear, I had left the roll in the truck. SOO off came the layers and all but the tee-shirt went back on. :) When I got done with my chore and went back to my Father in Law, he was grimiceing in pain. Recognizing he was in distress, he asked to borrow my roll. I told him I only had one emergency tee-shirt on that day and it had been utilized and discarded. He laughed so hard, he shart in his pants before he could get down to business. I've not heard another word about the clothing I wear when I hunt. :)
Just remembered another one. I heard this direct from the horses mouth from one of the two parties involved.
Seems 2 of our local pros hit the water in search of bass. Shortly after takeoff pro1 discovers his dire need for a drop-and-plop. Since they were in pro2's boat, he is polite enough to step to the rear deck to do the deed. After mission complete, he returns to the front deck and speaks to pro2. This is the conversation that followed.
Pro2 :"everything come out alright?"
Pro1: "Well, there's good news and bad news"
Pro2: "what's the good news"
Pro1: "Good news is I feel much better and I will be able to fish for the rest of the day without going to shore."
Pro2:"and the bad news...."
Pro1:"I never heard a splash... "