One time I had to go so bad I thought I was about to bust my insides. I was in real pain and had doubled over in the boat to the point where I yelled "Sonny Jim" at the top of my lungs. My buddy took control of the trolling motor and luckily their were some bathroom houses close by. I make it to the bathroom house only to read "closed until spring". Son of a b**** I yelled! Still in sever pain, I am now desparate. I know that if I don't release this demon, it will release itself. I look around and see this old beat up white jacket on a picnic table. No one was nowhere near so I am assumed by the looks of it, that it has been there a while. I grab it! As soon as I do, I am in pain like never before. I don't even look to see if anyone is around. I drop my pants and chit comes shooting and flying out like a fire hose. Keep in mind I released the genie right in the middle of a walking/jogging trail next to a picnic table. To this day, I have no idea what I ate that was bad, but whatever it was, it gave me the worst case of the squirts I have ever had. I wipe with the old white jacket (I bet it took 10 wipes). Just as soon as I am releaved of the screaming demon and had my composure, I hear several voices coming up the trail. I sure heck didn't want to be around when they found the pile of liquid chit I left. So I threw the jacket back on the table and ran like I stole something. The voices that I had heard were joggers. They stopped at the picnic table. One of them saw the chit pile and soup and begin to grimace, gag, and point. The other person said, "And look! They used your jacket to wipe their ass!"
<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by jchough79 »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">Uggh I've never broke down and used leaves. I've taken the sleeves off my shirts once or twice. </TD></TR></TABLE> I love it!!!!!
Bob Guess Fishin for Fun 99 Stratos 273/ 96 Merc 115
I had a buddy one time that went to Texas A&M. You know them, the famous Texas Aggies. Well he was a stereotypical Aggie and somewhat gullible at certain things. This one time we were fishing and he had the demon hit him also. He begged me to head to shore and not wanting a mess on my boat, I obliged him.
He heads off into the woods and I back off the bank and start fishing. Pretty soon I see him step out of the woods. He holding his pants up by the belt loops and doesn't have them buttoned. "Hey man! You got any paper in the boat?"
"Nope." I reply, wondering what he's going to ask next.
He doesn't even phase me when has asks "Well, what do I wipe my butt with?"
Wondering how he graduated college, I tell him to use some leaves. I proceed to get back to fishing and soon he's back at the edge of the woods.
"Hey! There aren't any leaves in here. What do I do?" he asks.
"Use a dollar and make it quick! I've got 2 fish while you've been jacking around in the woods." I reply, hoping he'll hurry up and let us get back to the fishing.
Pretty soon he's back at the edge of the woods and walking back down to the waters edge. I proceed over that way and lift the trolling motor. I fire up the big motor and ease the boat ashore so he can climb in.
As he's climbing in, I notice some staining on his pants. Beginning to wonder if he made it in time, I ask what the stain is.
"Oh that", he replies, "That's just a little blood."
"Blood!?!" I exclaim, "How in the heck did you get to bleeding?"
With all seriousness, he looks at me and asks me "Have you ever tried to wipe your butt with 3 quarters, two dimes and a nickel?"
We were fishing a T one day and my partner had to go real bad. Not wanting to leave our spot to go to the marina.......he figured out that he could grab the seat post on the front deck of his ranger and hang his rear over the side and plop them right in the water. That was 10 years ago and it is still a campfire topic on trips these days
Tom Herndon Lake St. Louis, MO
1997 Champion 186DCX Elite
1997 175 HP Merc
<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by icemanrrc »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote"> I wipe with the old white jacket (I bet it took 10 wipes). </TD></TR></TABLE>
Sounded like you needed a squeegee to wipe with...
O.K. I'll tell my story. We were fishing off shore on a charter boat. The captain tells us "well guys, I'm sorry but I have to do an "Orangutan Hang". We all look at each other like what the hell is he talking about! The captain moved to the back of the boat and grabbed the 2 rails between the motors, dropped his shorts, hung there like he was trying to climb a tree and did his business. We were laughing so hard and we kept telling him a shark was coming to get the bait. And that my friends is what is known till this day as the Orangutan Hang.
Modified by LAChamp at 12:42 PM 3/30/2006
Champion 201 Coastal Champ, 225hp Merc EFI
SOLD and Boatless
<TABLE WIDTH="90%" CELLSPACING=0 CELLPADDING=0 ALIGN=CENTER><TR><TD>Quote, originally posted by LAChamp »</TD></TR><TR><TD CLASS="quote">And that my friends is what is known till this day as the Orangutan Hang. </TD></TR></TABLE>
LMFAO!!! That is some funny stuff man.
I have never had the problem of the "demon" hitting me on the lake but I'm sure it will one day. I'm glad that you all are producing ideas on where and how to go so that all of us can laugh at your "adventures" and also, so we can prepare for the worse.
EWWWWWWW Here's a tip for ya'll chitters!! A porta potty! Ya know one of the ones you use to potty train kids, they are pretty strong, put that in the boat and install a toilet paper roll dispenser thing under the dash!! How bout that, they even make those wet toilet paper dispenser things that can keep ya'll feelin refreshed all day long!! My luck will probably be this weekend whne we get in the boat, its gonna hit me too, just for laughin at ya'll! I'll make sure I have my porta potty AND toilet paper!