Boyfriend asking for our blessing

[SHM64]

Our 24 year old daughter's boyfriend (also 24) just asked to visit with my wife and I this evening where we are assuming he is going to ask us for our blessing. They have been dating 7 years. While I won't get into my feelings of the young man, I have always believed she could have done better and I've feared this day would come. I will say he's a faithful Christian, at least to my knowledge and has always treated our daughter very well, and I give him full marks for coming to us in this way. He comes from an extremely wealthy family and in short is very spoiled. His father asked me two years ago not to give up on his son... to give him time to grow up.

I'd love to hear other fathers' thoughts on their honest response to this visit we are having tonight. I know that my wife and I will say 'yes', I would just like to hear how you guys discussed your little girl's future with THE guy.

Thanks

[jp71291]

Unfortunately, you have to say yes. If you say no and that is what she wants then they will get married anyway and you will push her away from you. I would just tell him what you expect out of him as a husband to your daughter.

[jbassman87]

Unfortunately, you have to say yes. If you say no and that is what she wants then they will get married anyway and you will push her away from you. I would just tell him what you expect out of him as a husband to your daughter.

This ^^^

[Bass in the grass]

Ok, so would you be happier if she was marrying a poor, strung out, drunk? Sounds like the guy is pretty decent to still be around after 7 years.

Honest question, would anyone truly be good enough for you?

[yatesville88fan]

Unfortunately, you have to say yes. If you say no and that is what she wants then they will get married anyway and you will push her away from you. I would just tell him what you expect out of him as a husband to your daughter.

Nailed it.

[Iowabass3826]

Unfortunately you have to say yes and trust your daughter to be an adult and make her own decisions. A little stern talk during your meeting isn’t out of line though.

[ProVle]

They are 24yr old adults!

[GOTTA BIG SACK]

Is she happy withy him? Assuming yes if they’ve been together that long. If she is and he’s not a crack head or Bama fan you gotta hope for the best.

[trifish]

Outside of the fact that the kid may be spoiled, if he treats your daughter well and makes her happy you would be making a huge mistake to do anything but give your unconditional blessing. There are many worse things out there in the world waiting on your daughter if this were to somehow go sideways because you think the kid is spoiled.

[novakevlar]

Does he have a man-bun and drink Bud Light?

[cg2fish]

The bud light would be a deal breaker.

[BoatBuggy]

Ok, so would you be happier if she was marrying a poor, strung out, drunk? Sounds like the guy is pretty decent to still be around after 7 years.

Honest question, would anyone truly be good enough for you?

This was the first thing that came to my mind as well. They have been together for 7 FREAKING YEARS and want to commit even further. Seems to me they have their shit together as much as it can be for 24 yr olds.

"Extremely wealthy" families lead a life many of us simply cannot comprehend. What is spoiled to plebes like us could very well be everyday life for them.

[vatreefarmer]

I have 2 daughters and have been through this a couple of times. It's our job as parents to want nothing but the best for our children, to shield them from hard times and always be their anchor. Yet, part of parenting is also making sure that they are equipped to deal with lifes problems on their own and this is one of them. Both of my daughters made excellent choices. One SIL is a professional who makes excellent money and comes from a strong family. The other SIL is a entrepreneur whose income is less guaranteed. I found a flaw in one SIL because I didn't think he knew the value of physical labor, I was hesitant on the other SIL because he seemed to be less stable of a provider. In essence, nit-picky stuff that shouldn't be a significant part of the decision. In both instances each SIL truly loves my daughter, respects them, Christian, and value family and stability in a marriage. Thats the big stuff right there, ignore the minor stuff. It all boils down to whether your precious gift of a daughter loves this man and will be considered above all others. If that's the case, you have raised your daughter well, now trust her judgement.

[Larrythedane]

My son in law came to my wife and I 18 mnths ago to ask permission. He is good and kind, treats our daughter extremely well, and makes her happy. He makes me crazy sometimes, but that’s on me. They have been married for 6 months, he is a great partner for her.

[Gsmith223]

But can he catch fish? Does he use a spinning reel or a bait caster?

[xcoach]

Will he pay off your house note? Deal maker for me.

[Steve 187]

Have 2 daughters myself. One married and one at 17 years old. As long as he makes her smile and not cry, you have to let them go. If in the end her makes her cry, them make him go away...................

[basscat tyler]

Unfortunately, you have to say yes. If you say no and that is what she wants then they will get married anyway and you will push her away from you. I would just tell him what you expect out of him as a husband to your daughter.

Good advice here

[Bassmeister]

At her age it's really HER decision.....but if he steps up, give you the respect, and asked after 7 years.... that's longer than most marriages.....don't drive a wedge between your daughter and future sil.....

[LateralLine]

You raised her right, correct?

She makes good decisions, correct?

Trust her!