Christmas Fruitcake Recipe
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
1 cup nuts
1 bottle whiskey
Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer; beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Try another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, ply it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, shift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window; check the whiskey again and go to bed.
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