A Newfie decides to travel across Canada to see the Pacific Ocean.
When he gets to Nanaimo, he likes the place so much that he decides to
stay. But first he must find a job.
He walks into the MacMillan-Bloedel office and fills out an
application as an 'experienced' logger. It's his lucky day. They just
happen to be looking for someone. But first, the Bush Foreman takes
him for a ride into the bush in the company pickup truck to see how
much he knows. The foreman stops the truck on the side of the road and
points at a tree.
'See that tree over there? I want you to tell me what species it is
and how many board feet of lumber it contains.'
The Newfie promptly answers, 'Dat dere's a Sitka Spruce and she got
383 board feet a' lumber in 'ER.'
The foreman is impressed. He puts the truck in motion and stops again
about a mile down the road. He points at another tree through the
passenger door window and asks the same question. This time, it's a
bigger tree and of a different class.
'Lord tunderin'! Dat's yer Douglas Fir and she got 690 board feet.'
says the Newfie. Now the foreman is really impressed. The Newfie has
answered quickly and got the answers right without even using a
calculator!
One more test. They drive a little farther down the road, and the
foreman stops again. This time, he points across the road through his
driver side window.
'And what about that one?'
Before the foreman finishes pointing, the Newfie says, 'A Yeller
Cedar, 242 board feet at most.'
The foreman spins the truck around and heads back to the office a
little pissed off because he thinks that the Newfie is smarter than he
is.
As they near the office, the foreman stops the truck and asks the
Newfie to step outside. He hands him a piece of chalk and tells him,
'See that tree over there. I want you to mark an X on the front of
that tree.' The foreman thinks to himself, 'Idiot! How would he know
which is the front of a tree?'
When the Newfie reaches the tree, he goes around it in a circle while
looking at the ground. He then reaches up and places a white X on the
trunk. He runs back to the foreman and hands him the chalk.
'Dat's da front a' dat tree fer sure,' the Newfie states.
The foreman laughs to himself and asks sarcastically, 'How in the hell
do you know that's the front of the tree?'
The Newfie looks down at his feet, while rubbing the toe of his left
boot cleaning it in the gravel and replies, 'Cuz someone took a shit
behind it!'
He got the job. Three weeks later, he became the foreman.
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