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  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Lakeview, Ar
    Posts
    372

    What Self Quarantine Has Taught Me

    * Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

    * I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

    * I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

    * Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom

    * PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

    * Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

    * I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

    * This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.



    * So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

    * Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

    * My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

    * Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

    * I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

    * I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.

    * Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

    * Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.


  2. Sprint Boats Moderator Bassmeister's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Calhoun, Ga.
    Posts
    42,741
    #2
    Had the drinking problem going in......we'll see on the exit....Older single guy I've just been puttering around getting the yard in shape....getting those old two stroke machines running again....TODAY I'm excited to be getting the boat ready for the water again....As far as eating....I'm blessed with good neighbors what invite me over often...and a freezer full of venison..... No classifieds.....dedicated bachelor.....3 marriages were enough.....Easter will be a nightmare here weather wise so I'll go back to the living room in the jammies....I don't wish bad luck on those that need the paycheck but......I hope my company gives me another week or two off....

  3. Member basscatrazor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Camden,Arkansas
    Posts
    5,749
    #3
    When life deals you lemons, make lemonade

  4. Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Salem,Ohio
    Posts
    579
    #4
    LOL.!! Your killing me.!!

  5. Member jdupre's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Bourg, Louisiana
    Posts
    1,707
    #5
    721 ​ProXp


  6. Member
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    Feb 2014
    Location
    raymond, nh
    Posts
    1,661
    #6
    Yup pretty much sums it up....

  7. Member
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    Dec 2017
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    1,096
    #7

  8. Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Elm City, NC
    Posts
    8,109
    #8
    It has taught me that fishing more than twice a week gets old. The body says once a week at the most.

  9. Member
    Join Date
    May 2019
    Location
    Elburn, Illinois
    Posts
    16
    #9
    Laughed my butt off. Good stuff.

  10. Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Lake Mary, FL
    Posts
    3,092
    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by dwmgg17 View Post
    It has taught me that fishing more than twice a week gets old. The body says once a week at the most.
    Find a lake close by and figure out the morning bite and then come home and do yard work and "honey-do's". I have been doing it three to four days a week for the last three weeks.

  11. Member OkieLure's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Newcastle, OK
    Posts
    8,978
    #11
    1988 Skeeter SD 80, 75HP Mariner

  12. Boat Owner OkieBud's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Bixby Ok.
    Posts
    42,900
    #12
    Amen

  13. Member lpugh's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Carmichael Ca
    Posts
    2,635
    #13
    Quote Originally Posted by tiffytilly View Post
    * Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

    * I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

    * I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

    * Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom

    * PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

    * Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

    * I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

    * This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.



    * So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

    * Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

    * My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

    * Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

    * I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

    * I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.

    * Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

    * Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.

    I will read the rest of it as soon as I recover
    Thank You Leon Pugh

  14. Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Location
    rockton illinois
    Posts
    281
    #14
    Hey, cut it out , I HAVE NO PROBLEM DRINKING, Corona of coarse

  15. Member 250bassFL's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Plant City, Florida
    Posts
    51,954
    #15
    [IMG][/IMG]

  16. Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Pleasureville, Kentucky
    Posts
    205
    #16
    Quote Originally Posted by tiffytilly View Post
    * Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

    * I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

    * I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

    * Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom

    * PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

    * Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

    * I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

    * This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.



    * So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

    * Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

    * My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

    * Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

    * I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

    * I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.

    * Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

    * Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.

    Dude you’ve got skills. That was funny right there.

  17. Member wareagle24's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    Florence, Al.
    Posts
    5,928
    #17
    Funniest thing that I've read in a while!! Thanks for posting.
    Long time listener, First time caller

  18. Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Location
    264 Stillbrook Estates Dr Fenton, Mo.
    Posts
    2,137
    #18
    Very Very good
    2018 BASSCAT COUGAR FTD
    MERCURY 250 PRO XS 2B524980

  19. Member basscatlildave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Robertsdale AL
    Posts
    4,619
    #19
    Good stuff

  20. Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    ON
    Posts
    2,986
    #20
    Why can't I come out of this an amazing cook AND have a drinking problem?

    Don't tell me what I can and cannot do!!!!!

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