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  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Lakeview, Ar
    Posts
    417

    What Self Quarantine Has Taught Me

    * Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

    * I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

    * I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

    * Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom

    * PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

    * Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

    * I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

    * This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.



    * So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

    * Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

    * My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

    * Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

    * I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

    * I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.

    * Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

    * Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.


  2. Sprint Boats Moderator Bassmeister's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    Calhoun, Ga.
    Posts
    46,440
    #2
    Had the drinking problem going in......we'll see on the exit....Older single guy I've just been puttering around getting the yard in shape....getting those old two stroke machines running again....TODAY I'm excited to be getting the boat ready for the water again....As far as eating....I'm blessed with good neighbors what invite me over often...and a freezer full of venison..... No classifieds.....dedicated bachelor.....3 marriages were enough.....Easter will be a nightmare here weather wise so I'll go back to the living room in the jammies....I don't wish bad luck on those that need the paycheck but......I hope my company gives me another week or two off....


  3. Member
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    Apr 2007
    Location
    Salem, Ohio
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    1,945
    #4
    LOL.!! Your killing me.!!

  4. Member jdupre's Avatar
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    Apr 2012
    Location
    Bourg, Louisiana
    Posts
    1,710
    #5
    721 ​ProXp


  5. Member
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    Feb 2014
    Location
    raymond, nh
    Posts
    2,710
    #6
    Yup pretty much sums it up....

  6. Member
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    Dec 2017
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    3,186
    #7

  7. Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Elm City, NC
    Posts
    10,866
    #8
    It has taught me that fishing more than twice a week gets old. The body says once a week at the most.

  8. Member
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    May 2019
    Location
    Elburn, Illinois
    Posts
    362
    #9
    Laughed my butt off. Good stuff.

  9. Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    Lake Mary, FL
    Posts
    3,885
    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by dwmgg17 View Post
    It has taught me that fishing more than twice a week gets old. The body says once a week at the most.
    Find a lake close by and figure out the morning bite and then come home and do yard work and "honey-do's". I have been doing it three to four days a week for the last three weeks.

  10. Member OkieLure's Avatar
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    Sep 2013
    Location
    Newcastle, OK
    Posts
    12,970
    #11
    1997 Charger 186 TF
    1997 Yamaha ProV 175

  11. BOOMER SOONER OkieBud's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    Bixby Ok.
    Posts
    50,925
    #12
    Amen

  12. Member lpugh's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Sacramento Ca
    Posts
    5,164
    #13
    Quote Originally Posted by tiffytilly View Post
    * Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

    * I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

    * I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

    * Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom

    * PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

    * Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

    * I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

    * This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.



    * So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

    * Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

    * My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

    * Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

    * I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

    * I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.

    * Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

    * Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.

    I will read the rest of it as soon as I recover
    Thank You Leon Pugh

  13. Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Location
    rockton illinois
    Posts
    790
    #14
    Hey, cut it out , I HAVE NO PROBLEM DRINKING, Corona of coarse

  14. Member
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    Jan 2010
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    64,068
    #15

  15. Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Pleasureville, Kentucky
    Posts
    412
    #16
    Quote Originally Posted by tiffytilly View Post
    * Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

    * I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

    * I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

    * Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom

    * PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

    * Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

    * I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone

    * This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.



    * So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

    * Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

    * My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

    * Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

    * I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

    * I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.

    * Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

    * Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.

    Dude you’ve got skills. That was funny right there.

  16. Member wareagle24's Avatar
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    Aug 2009
    Location
    Florence, Al.
    Posts
    16,308
    #17
    Funniest thing that I've read in a while!! Thanks for posting.

  17. Member
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    Apr 2010
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    Fenton, Mo.
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    5,039
    #18
    Very Very good
    2018 BASSCAT COUGAR FTD
    MERCURY 250 PRO XS 2B524980

  18. Member basscatlildave's Avatar
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    Mar 2005
    Location
    Robertsdale AL
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    9,004
    #19
    Good stuff

    98 Bullet 20XD
    225 Pro Max

  19. Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2017
    Location
    ON
    Posts
    5,749
    #20
    Why can't I come out of this an amazing cook AND have a drinking problem?

    Don't tell me what I can and cannot do!!!!!

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