Why do most obituaries not list the cause of death typically? It's just human nature that is one of the first things that normally pops up in your mind when reading one. Is it a privacy issue, ethics thing or something else? When speaking with another person about what happened that question somewhere or another always is asked.
It sure is not like the old days, where they wrote everything. "Bob Smith died yesterday after being gored by that crazy bull everyone had warned him about. Bull got him right in the stomach and tore his insides out. Bob will be laid to rest tomorrow."
Obituaries are not at all meant for people to know the cause of death. It’s to allow people to know a little about the person and funeral arrangements. It’s simple respect for the family and perished.
Apparently as stated above it use to be and if the person is at all famous to any degree it is always stated so why not for the common Joe?Originally Posted by BassinR83
Who do you think writes and pays for the obituary to be published? Most papers etc. Charge to publish it.
My brother wrote his own. He even Sang/recorded one of the songs that was played at his funeral
I've written a number of obituaries in my life. Most funeral homes have a form that is filled out, then they craft it. There isn't a blank that asks cause of death. The obituaries that I've written have been natural causes (old age) and cancer (mother) which we made mention of her efforts late in life participating in a clinical trial; drug is now call Keytruda for non-small cell Adenocarcinoma or non-smokers lung cancer.
Publishing of obituaries is done at the cost of the families; it's not cheap! Most recently, with the use of social media, funeral homes post the update for free which is at least something for families short on funds. Keep in mind, it costs to live and costs to die - people that don't have a family or a caregiver will die without an obituary or any sort of announcement. In my area it costs at least $7,000 for a basic funeral, but I believe there is a subsidized cost of $4,000 that an individual can qualify for based on income.
It's sad to see what various costs can add up to at the end of life and some simply will struggle with them even when it shouldn't be on their minds.
Last edited by LegendX; 04-03-2020 at 05:58 PM.
So its a question of money then in not paying for the extra wording to disclose the cause. Thanks.
Aside: Your mother was in one of the first clinical trials for Keytruda? My father has stage IV melanoma with brain and lung metastases. He is currently starting immunotherapy. Wouldn't have been an option even two years ago. Thankful that your mother participated in a clinical trial.
Or maybe the family might not want it disclosed.
Here lies Lester Moore, died from 4 shots from a .44, no less, no more.
Emily Blake stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
Thats why she did it. Thank you for your kind words.
She participated in the trial through the Mayo Clinic. She went through two rounds of Alimpna, Avastin, and Carboplatnin chemo - I likely butchered the spelling on all of these. She then enrolled into the clinical trial, she was in the group that received the highest dosage... I believe the dosage is smaller now.
She also had brain metastases... non-small cell travels up, small cell travels down. She actually ended up passing away from a bleeding metastases which was made worse by being on an aggressive blood thinner at the time, Lovenox. O yes, one of the "great side effects of cancer", blood clots! Brain bleeds are awful. No other way to explain them...
Again, thank you for your kind words. You will never know how much it means to my family to hear of people having success with this drug.
The family pays for it and most don't even realize it. When making funeral arrangements very few people actually go over the itemized cost of the funeral to see exactly what they are paying for. This is because the family is in a state of shock because they just lost a loved one. Plus when most people ask about cost of a funeral they are thinking cost of casket and burial. If you look at an itemized funeral bill you will be surprised at the things you pay for...embalming service, pick up/delivery of body if they have to travel out of town to get the body, using the show room to display the body. A typical funeral price will only include the day of the funeral. If you want the body displayed for a day before the funeral then there is a charge to use the show room and clean the waiting area. Then you also have a charge for clothing (if the family does not provide clothes) ,make up and hair grooming. Then there is the the signature book, the pamphlet they pass out with the deceased info. Writing and sending the obituary to the news paper and radio station. Most funeral homes do not own a hearse they lease one. You get charged for use of the hearse. Again most people think a funeral is just one price but if you look at an itemized bill you will find there is a lot of charges and writing the obituary and sending it to the newspaper and radio station is one of the things they charge for. What I said may not apply to all funeral homes but it does apply to a lot of funeral homes.
Maybe it’s nobodys business. If you are close enough to the family, you’ll know what happened.
I have been a licensed funeral director in the state of Pa.for over 41 years. Please let me correct some of the things that have been posted. First the obituary is almost always submitted by the funeral home as 99% of newspapers won't accept it from a relative of the deceased . The obit is normally reviewed by the family prior to submission for mistakes or missing information. The cost is listed under cash advances and is not part of the charges for services. If a funeral director is following the law the FTC (Federal Trade Comm.) requires you at time of arrangements to go over all charges with the party responsible for payment and have a contract signed at that point and a copy is given to the family. With regard to JR19's breakdown of pricing there are many different pricing options depending on what the state requires and also what the funeral home chooses to do. Unit pricing, itemized, package. Again all this has to be reviewed and agreed upon prior to any services. The original post about why the cause of death is not listed most times is just a family preference.
I don't remember the actual cost per word,(maybe $20 to $30).the letter 'a' is a word. Gets expensive quick.
A broken heart and grief takes a long time to heal if ever. Dealing with an illness that not curable in a loved one takes its toll on family members. The cause of death really serves no useful purpose in an obituary.
This is maybe true and I covered that when I said privacy. However, if you are out with a buddy or two and the topic comes up about Joes passing what is the first question asked, "Man I wonder how he died or what happened to cause him to pass since he seemed to be in good health!"
On the flip side you turn on the news and actor so and so died from a drug overdose, suicide, car crash, etc. or man down the street died in car crash or gun shot wound or …..
By putting it out there the family doesn't have to keep addressing it every time they bump into someone and the question gets asked multiple times and they have to relive it over and over maybe.
I want to die like my grandpa - peacefully in my sleep, not screaming like the passengers in the car ...
Ranting incoherently
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