I don't know if this is readable or not but if not just ignore my attempt !!
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback.
Then one night while watching news he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he finds him, brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football.
And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants,
all the young man wants is to call his mother.
Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says."You are no longer my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest
sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us.
The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week,
and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"
The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,
"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!”
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I am going to Substitute Dallas which would make the Joke Funnier seeing how Jerry/Dallas will never win another Super Bowl. 
