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  1. #1
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    Anyone looking for a jeep? Funny craigslist AD



    Katchin Giant Bass

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  3. Kevin Shearer Blazer1's Avatar
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    #2
    I would definitely hang out with that guy and drink a beer!!

  4. Member
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    #3
    Check out the shell casing he used to reset odometer.

  5. Member
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    #4
    "-It leaks a little oil. How much? Not enough for me to care. It has 220,000 miles, Poindexter!
    If you have a vehicle with 220K NOT leaking or burning oil, it's empty!"

  6. Member
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    #5
    Just in case someone flags it.


    1997 Jeep Cherokee (XJ)
    220K Miles
    4.0 L in-line 6
    4WD
    AUTOMATIC Transmission
    Bright Red
    Straight Stock
    Crank Windows, no cruise, no tilt, no delay wiper, no nonsense
    POWER MIRRORS! Woo Hoo!

    $1750

    Here's the deal, kids:
    This is a Jeep Cherokee. This is not a luxury SUV, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It has solid front axles, wind noise, and character.
    It's a Jeep. It rides like a Jeep. It drives like a Jeep. All of these are GOOD things.
    It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used. This will be apparent in the pictures.


    If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
    If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
    If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
    If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
    If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
    If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.


    If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid shit: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.
    Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
    Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
    While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
    Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
    Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
    When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
    Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
    -could you not care less?
    Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
    Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
    Do you still miss your first ride?
    Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
    Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
    Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?


    If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.

    DETAILS:
    -I am the second owner. First owner barely got it dirty and engaged the front axles once.
    -I have remedied this excessive caretaking with muddy roads and a pile of fun.
    -The motor uses a little oil. How much? I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points.
    I check the oil, I fill the oil, I drive. Not enough to bother me.
    -It leaks a little oil. How much? Not enough for me to care. It has 220,000 miles, Poindexter!
    If you have a vehicle with 220K NOT leaking or burning oil, it's empty!
    -Rear bumper has a big-ass crease in it. I dented it backing into a concrete pole. Sober.
    We drove away giggling, for the record. Haven't fixed it.
    -Driver's side door was caught by the wind, whipped forward, got into the LF quarter panel.
    -Radiator has a small leak. Pinhole. I can replace the radiator or you can. Really doesn't matter
    A new radiator and hoses will run $145. If you don't want to replace them I will.
    Add $250 to the price of vehicle. This includes radiator, hoses, and labor (beer). A freaking bargain.
    -The badass little 4.0L bullet-proof in-line six starts and runs like the proverbial champ.
    -Tranny and 4WD operate perfectly
    -Tires will need replaced in a couple thousand miles. I haven't upgraded because I had plans:
    Had planned a small lift, upgrade to 17" Wrangler wheels, and more aggressive tires.
    Life got in the way - it ain't happening.
    -Zombie stickers on the right rear window stay. My daughter's idea, take it up with her.
    -Flogging Molly sticker stays as well. They kick ass, so there.

    QUESTIONS:
    -Why are you selling?
    I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
    Someone else needs to appreciate the Jeep for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.

    -What's wrong with it?
    Radiator. Small oil leaks. Driver's side door cosmetic issues.
    And it's pissed it has been neglected and parked. It needs rescued.

    -Does the 4WD work?
    Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.

    -Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
    No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Jeep. Love the Jeep. Give the Jeep a home.

    -Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
    No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
    Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of shit honda project down the road.
    I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.

    -Why is it still stock?
    Because I bought it for a daily driver with the intention of turning it into a project.
    I haven't had the time to do so. So I am selling it.

    -Can I put a 6" lift and giant tires on it?
    I don't give a shit. But be sure to use quality components and for God's sake - get it aligned after a lift!

    -Would this make a good car for my daughter?
    Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
    Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.

    -Can you deliver?
    Within reason. I'd drive it a hundred miles or so. But really, you should come get it. Look it over. Have a beer. Etc.

    -Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
    Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
    No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.

    -Will you ship to -?
    No. See above.

    -No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
    That's great, I don't give a shit. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $1750.
    Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
    But if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an ******* - then no sale.

    -Why are you such a dick?
    Everything is relative; you should see my friends.

    Any other questions, feel free to reply to this email and ask.


    Katchin Giant Bass

  7. Ft Gibson Lake America lakefolk's Avatar
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    #6
    Unless you're an a$$hole - then no sale

    "Being a winner is more than getting a first place trophy, it is acting like the effort was an honor and the trophy is just a decoration."

  8. Member SkeeterDD22's Avatar
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    #7
    All that...and I don't even consider that a "Jeep".

  9. Kevin Shearer Blazer1's Avatar
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by SkeeterDD22 View Post
    All that...and I don't even consider that a "Jeep".
    Hell Danny, when I first read it, I thought maybe you were selling a "Jeep" and had wrote it!

  10. Member Bassman Ia.'s Avatar
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    #9
    Well-------- I know some of my friends that would write an ad like this. It is written in a humorous way, but he is probably tired of dealing with azzholes. I thought it was great.

  11. Moderator
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    #10
    This line is great!

    -Does the 4WD work?
    Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.

  12. Member cad75's Avatar
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    #11
    that is great!!!!

  13. Member Joker_114th's Avatar
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    #12
    That's a Classic Ad



  14. Member
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    #13
    It would be funnier if he didn't think Flogging Molly "kicks ass"!

  15. rotaredom-noN m.t.hands's Avatar
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    #14
    Things are more like right now than they have ever been


  16. Member
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    #15
    he needs to be scriptwriter for duck dynasty...

  17. Member
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    #16
    Excellent
    Sancho Panza is my copilot.

  18. Member
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    #17
    I would hang out with that guy.


    2006 Blazer 210 Pro V
    2006 Yamaha 250 HPDI

  19. Member
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    #18
    one of the great ads of all time.
    Ranger Forever

  20. BBC PREZ Al from Canada's Avatar
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    #19
    Now that guy is funny!

  21. Banned
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    #20
    Quote Originally Posted by beetle View Post
    It would be funnier if he didn't think Flogging Molly "kicks ass"!
    True, Flogging Molly F'n Kicks Asz!!!!Even though that's not a real GP spoken like a Jeeper 609GP my race #'s

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