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  1. #1
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    Adopt a Terrorist?!? Really??!!??

    Adopt a Terrorist

    A Canadian female libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the Canadian government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. She demanded a response to her letter correspondence.

    She received back the following reply:

    National Defence Headquarters
    M Gen George R. Pearkes Bldg.,15 NT
    101 Colonel By Drive
    Ottawa, ON K1A 0K2
    Canada

    Dear Concerned Citizen,

    Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities.

    Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loudly and clearly here in Ottawa. You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new department here at the Department of National Defence, to be called ‘Libertarians Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or L.A.R.K. for short.

    In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to divert one terrorist and place him in your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday.

    Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint!

    It will likely be necessary for you to hire some assistant caretakers. We will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter. Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his ‘attitudinal problem’ will help him overcome these character flaws.

    Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling. Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next yoga group. Please advise any Jewish friends, neighbors or relatives about your house guest, as he might get agitated or even violent, but we are sure you can reason with him. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.

    Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually) since he views females as a subhuman form of property thereby having no rights, including refusal of his sexual demands. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will "recommend" as more appropriate attire.

    I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that it is all part of 'respecting his culture and religious beliefs' as described in your letter.

    Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man. You take good care of Ahmed and remember we'll be watching.
    Good luck and God bless you,

    Cordially,

    Gordon O'Connor
    Minister of National Defense

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  3. Kansas Bass Club Moderator
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    #2

  4. Member blade1970's Avatar
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    #3
    ...and he comes with his own vests...

  5. Banned
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    #4
    Damn!.......A politician with a sense of humor.....Imagine that!

  6. Member skeeterator's Avatar
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    #5
    Gotta love it!

  7. Member Jake.'s Avatar
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    #6
    It's satire, not a true story. snopes.com: Taliban Detainees and LARK Program

  8. Indiana Bass Club Moderator sc419795's Avatar
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    #7
    Good read regardless if true or not.
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  9. Banned
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    #8
    Quote Originally Posted by sc419795 View Post
    Good read regardless if true or not.
    Exactly!.......It's still funny.

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    #9
    Quote Originally Posted by Jake. View Post
    It's satire, not a true story. snopes.com: Taliban Detainees and LARK Program
    Man some people need to get a sense of humor. I would hope no one thought it was real!

  11. BBC SPONSOR
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    #10
    Quote Originally Posted by gabassman74 View Post
    Man some people need to get a sense of humor. I would hope no one thought it was real!
    Really is amazing that some people cannot tell the difference between a joke and reality.... makes you wonder....

    http://69.36.11.105/~docirvcu/docirv...com/tacklebox/
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    If you are not satisfied with the color or texture of your custom made Doc Irv baits just let me know and I will redo it at no cost to you to your satisfaction, because I am not happy unless you are happy.*
    *But if you are one of those people who is never satisfied then I retain the right to be unhappy.

  12. Lost and confused MississippiBoy's Avatar
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    #11
    Joke = I'm going to catch a boatload of fish this weekend.
    Reality = I'm going to waste $50 of gas and about 8 hours of time, with no fish to show for it.....

  13. Moderator cape cod basser's Avatar
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    #12
    Good one I have read before....

  14. Things that make u go hmm Reelsore's Avatar
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    #13
    Quote Originally Posted by gabassman74 View Post
    Man some people need to get a sense of humor. I would hope no one thought it was real!


  15. HYDRA SPORT LS205 225HO JER-1 BIG BASS's Avatar
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    #14
    I love it should be real.
    BIG BASS LOL



  16. Member luigisbass's Avatar
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    #15


    Sad part is the real response would be politically correct, that's how you know it is fake.

  17. Member
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    #16
    Too bad it's a joke. That would sure tie her panties in a knot! and I.C.C.F.L.

  18. Member
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    #17
    Quote Originally Posted by docirv View Post
    Really is amazing that some people cannot tell the difference between a joke and reality.... makes you wonder....
    That's why we have snopes, I swear it's some people's homepage.


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    #18

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    #19